50 Things Rich People & Poor People Have In Common

It’s been said that, “If you’re poor and you do something stupid, you’re crazy. If you’re rich and do something stupid, you’re eccentric.” There are of course numerous derivatives of this quotation that convey a similar sentiment. More recently, Twitter’s @Dory put it, “Fifty Shades of Grey is only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer, it would be a Criminal Minds episode.”

Adam Carolla also has a great bit (and a fun book) on what rich people and poor people have in common — from spending evenings by the fire and having an outdoor shower to not carrying a wallet and having four cars in the driveway.

So I thought I’d come up with a few… Here are 50 things that rich and poor people have in common, but only rich people can get away with:

1. Day drinking

2. Inbreeding

3. Eating cheese by itself

4. Stealing money

5. Fucking barnyard animals (à la David Cameron)

6. Paying with cash

7. Riding your bike to work

8. Eating pigeons and rabbits

9. Repurposed wood furniture

10. Being a minority in Connecticut

11. Not working

12. Wearing animal print

13. Letting other people pay for dinner

14. Florida

15. Yard games

16. Drinking from mason jars

17. Going to rehab

18. Hookers

19. Having a bunch of kids

20. Taxidermy

21. Getting someone else to drive you around

22. Gambling

23. Moving to a foreign country (One’s an expat; the other is a migrant)

24. Cocaine

25. Not knowing how to use the internet (à la Lindsey Graham)

26. A really long driveway

27. Cheating on a spouse

28. Owning a horse

29. Old cars

30. Wearing ragged clothes

31. Taking financial handouts from the government

32. Alcoholism

33. Having a tan

34. Nepotism (affirmative action for the rich)

35. A criminal record

36. Living in a hotel

37. PBR

38. Going to the racetrack

39. Drinking on a boat

40. The dad bod

41. Naming your daughter Mercedes or Porsche

42. A vegetable garden and a chicken coup in the backyard

43. Getting married at home

44. Dating someone half your age

45. VCRs (If you’ve ever stayed in an old rich guy’s guest house, you know what I’m talking about)

46. Adult children who still live at home

47. Orgies

48. Having a pool and a pond in the backyard

49. Letting someone else raise your kids

50. Bankruptcy

John LeFevre is the creator of @GSElevator on Twitter, and the author of the New York Times bestselling book, Straight To Hell: True Tales of Deviance, Debauchery, And Billion-Dollar Deals

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