How to stay calm, cool and collected under stress
Tactics to help you stay cool as a cucumber when you’re at your wits end.
Do you remember when your boss, parent, or teacher was screaming at you? Whether you deserved it or not, do you recall how embarrassed you felt for them? Their face was contorted with violent rage, the veins were pulsing in their neck, and their absolute loss of emotional control still makes you cringe.
It’s easy to pity those that have no equanimity, or composure in tough situations, but it’s equally easy to become that person when you’re put under stress.
In my book, Leadership You, there are some incredible stories of everyday people staying cool under pressure. The 9 tactics below are strategic solutions from their examples, and my experiences as a doctor in emergency medicine, to help you stay cool as a cucumber when you’re at your wits end.
#1. Control your breathing. Find a breathing routine that works for you when you need to regain calmness and control. If you don’t already have one, try breathing 8 deep breaths, then holding your breath for 5 seconds, and then repeat.
#2. Be Pragmatic. Losing it never resolves the issue at hand and typically makes things worse. Recognize this logic.
#3. Never Raise Your Voice. The first person to raise their voice loses. Fight the urge and talk slowly, quietly and evenly. Speaking this way is more convincing and effective.
#4. Gain Perspective. Instead of losing your wits ask yourself it it’s really that bad. Instead of becoming heated, focus your energy on what can be done to remedy the situation. Good decisions aren’t made when you’re coming unraveled.
#5. Take it Outside. Walk outside and let good ole’ Mother Nature calm you down. Let the smallness of the situation be reinforced as you experience the grandness of the outdoors, letting you refocus.
#6. Center Yourself. Bring your palms together, and rest your thumbs on your chest. With each exhalation, focus on relaxing a part of your body. Start with your forehead, and move down to your cheeks, your jaw, your neck, your shoulders etc.
#7. Be Honest. If you think you’re about to lose your cool say that you need time to process the situation before you address the other person and the issue at hand.
#8. Let Your Pride Kick In. We’re not talking about the bad kind of pride, the one that tells you that you’re always right. Don’t let that kind kick in. React to stress in a way you can later be proud of, as opposed to embarrassed.
#9. Plan for turbulence. Sit down and think about how scenarios could go wrong, before they actually do. Plan for how you’d respond. Preparation will help you to stay calm when you need it most.
My experiences have taught me that “losing your cool” never accomplishes the objective. It may, for a very short time, scare people into moving in a certain direction, but it won’t increase loyalty, or have any positive long-term effect.
Whether you’re confronting a critical conversation or a life and death situation, using these 9 rational approaches will help you to think clearly and be an effective problem solver.
