I love the image, the sentiment, and in other circumstances this word would be fine. But all the language around it is so decadent and flows so well that ‘boner’ jars me out of the story for a moment. On the other hand I tried to find a suitable substitute and couldn’t come up with anything so maybe it’s unavoidable. That seems like a travesty though, if the Inuits can have fifty words for snow surely we can have at least five or six for an erect penis?
Anyway, great story. I love that even though you went with third person the emotion still penetrates the narration so completely. I look forward to seeing more of your work!