Where is the sex in Game of Thrones? (long NSFW post)

Don’t doubt it. When people talk about Game of Thrones, they call it the edgy fantasy show where people fuck a lot. Everybody has seen a lot of tits and asses in this mother.

Yet, is it really that sexy?

Or a better question would be, do people actually have sex in Game of Thrones?

(a bit of a disclaimer: I’m working from my head here. If I forget something, you’re free to let me know via Reblog or PM, thanks).

As I said in another thread, GRRM is a romantic. And he uses a lot of erotic symbolism in his work. Despite his sex scenes are a bit… erm.. odd (fat pink mast!), he portrays sex as it is: messy yet enjoyable. I personally have no problem with that because, after all, ASOIAF is not a romance or erotic story. And that’s (one of the many reasons) he’s called a “realistic” writer: because he doesn’t show immaculate characters who at most talk or hint about sex: he makes them have such sex.

So, how is the show translating this scenes on screen?

Well, not really well.

This lack of sex scenes has made me wonder if the actors have some sort of requirement about not being involved in too sexual scenes and for some strange reason, the producers are respecting that. I’ll get to that later.

Now, let’s go to the book first. The first real sexual scene we have in ASOIAF is in fact post-coital, and it’s from Catelyn’s pov:

Her loins still ached from the urgency of his lovemaking. It was a good ache. She could feel his seed within her. She prayed that it might quicken there. It had been three years since Rickon. She was not too old. She could give him another son.

The scene is quite descriptive even though we don’t see it happening: the sex was rough and pleasant for both of them despite the connotations of such sex having a purpose (procreate). Let’s say this is not just sex: it’s making love. Also, in such scene, they both are naked as they have just engaged in intercourse.

What the show gave us?

I won’t complain about this scene and will give it a pass instead due to the age of the actors. Personally, I don’t mind seeing the fifty-something Sean Bean naked, but I admit that is not something many would like to watch. And while the scene does (kinda) hint sex (his shirt is open and her hair is messy), there is little familiarity between them. Or at least, not the kind that is explicitly expressed in the chapter in which they do make love. I mean, I’ll be honest: I do believe Ned is not very good in the sack, but they still have five children together after fifteen years of being married: their sexual life is probably very active. Yet, not hint of them being such. They’re just two people who share a bed but have little use for them except sleeping on it.

As I said, this might be caused by the actors portraying Ned and Cat being older than the characters (who are both 35 and 36, IICR). The show is not that shy when they need to get younger actors naked like Emilia Clark and Jason Momoa, but they don’t risk go beyond showing people naked.

We all know how different was the scene of their wedding night in the books from the one in the show. And here starts the main problem they have with sex and its portrayal in the series: they made it to be an unpleasant experience for Dany as Drogo simply forces her. In the book, at least in that one scene, Drogo tries to actually make it less harsh for her and only goes forward once she say “yes”. And this is important for the development and characterization of Drogo because it let us know that, despite his terrible cultural background, he’s open to treat Dany with certain kindness. Had him being just some brute, Dany would have never been able to soften him as she eventually did: she didn’t just sex him into submission.

For Dany, in the show, the only way she had to gain his respect was by fucking him cowboy style and that only.

I actually liked the scene in which Doreah teaches Dany how to have sex. It’s not in text, IICR (it says they are just talking), but despite the situation of both women isn’t exactly great, it shows a bonding between them, a bond we know happens in the book between Dany and her handmaids (which the show has completely disregarded to the point of make them go (Jiqui simply disappeared) away and make one of them a traitor).

Back to the scene, Dany does in both show and book the same. She decides to not let Drogo simply take her like she’s his slave any more. She wants to make herself present and participant in the sex and let him know she has needs too:

That night, when Khal Drogo came, Dany was waiting for him. He stood in the door of her tent and looked at her with surprise. She rose slowly and opened her sleeping silks and let them fall to the ground. “This night we must go outside, my lord,” she told him, for the Dothraki believed that all things of importance in a man’s life must be done beneath the open sky.
Khal Drogo followed her out into the moonlight, the bells in his hair tinkling softly. A few yards from her tent was a bed of soft grass, and it was there that Dany drew him down. When he tried to turn her over, she put a hand on his chest. “No,” she said. “This night I would look on your face.”
There is no privacy in the heart of the khalasar. Dany felt the eyes on her as she undressed him, heard the soft voices as she did the things that Doreah had told her to do. It was nothing to her. Was she not khaleesi? His were the only eyes that mattered, and when she mounted him she saw something there that she had never seen before. She rode him as fiercely as ever she had ridden her silver, and when the moment of his pleasure came, Khal Drogo called out her name.

Dany’s sexual life (and the rest of her life) so far has been shit. Drogo simply used her for pleasure and she hated that (with all reason). This is Dany’s first moment of rebellion. She surprises Drogo with her actions and takes her chances with him. She takes him outside, and she makes her claim of his in front of the Khalasar, for all of them knowing that his also hers and that she is also in charge and is important, something confirmed when he screams her name in front of everybody.

The show gave us that scene but it was definitely tamed down:

This is a VERY rare occurrence, as the show does these things often backwards: the men are dressed while the women are naked. Also, we know that Emilia has gotten naked before that scene, and then, later: the next one between them have them both naked in bed, after sex again. So, why is she dressed when the scene has her naked and riding him “fiercely as ever she had ridden her silver”?

See, I’m not saying that I wanted to see her having the rough sex the books describe. My point, and the point of the article is to wonder why the show doesn’t do it?

Look at this gif:

This is from Outlander’s Claire and Jamie’s first night together. Outlander doesn’t have the same fame about being a “sexual show” as Game of Thrones does. Yet, they do portray two people having sex they both are enjoying and it’s not timid sex. I mean, what was the problem in GoT that we couldn’t have scenes like this? Why Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe are ok with simulating this kind of explicit sex but no one from the cast of GoT does it? Did Emilia and Jason didn’t want to portray their characters having intercourse because they thought it would be cheap? D&d thought so? That it would be cheap or gratuitous? More than this?:

Because that one gif from above doesn’t look cheap at all unless one is very very prude, and if you’re a prude, Game of Thrones is not a show for you.

In books, Dany has later more sex she enjoys, once she meets Daario. Either you like the douche or not, he’s the douche Dany has chosen to take to her bed and she enjoys having him there.

That night Daario had her every way a man can have a woman, and she gave herself to him willingly.

Many don’t like this part of Dany’s chapters because she behaves like a teen in love (which she is, duh). We see Daario flirting with her and she tries to dress up when she’s going to meet her. It’s very juvenile: one could even say that this is the first time Dany has the chance to actually act her age, which is the point of Daario’s existence in the books.

Dany’s sex with Daario means more than just earning physical pleasure. He makes her feel protected and also, when they’re together, she doesn’t feel a Queen, just a woman. (I won’t discuss Daario at the moment, but personally, I think he’s honest about his relationship with Dany). Now, this is a situation that one can say GoT could have easily exploit, right? After all, they do have very wild sex and they kinds do it in every position they know.

Their first sexual encounter is a very classic D&d scene. Dany is naked here for Daario’s pleasure. The man who said you can’t make love to property is examining the merchandise he’s about to obtain by his badassery and Dany rewards him by letting him look at her assets. Also, look at how carefully the scene has been prepared: the water barely touches Emilia’s nipples. This is not casual and it’s fucking ridiculous instead of erotic.

After HBO replaced Daario (who looked better than the new one, and who was inexplicable sacked), they continued with the off-camera sex between them because the show that is know for their sexual scenes didn’t want to show two people who are having pretty much raunchy monkey sex on screen. The sexual introduction (npi, I swear!) to this new Daario was with Dany being “in charge”. In any other situation, having Dany in charge of the sex scene is something I wouldn’t mind (I loved that with Drogo) and honestly, it would make me happy to have more women in charge of sex scenes despite is not exactly my cup of tea. And yes, in Outlander, is Claire the one who first leads the scene, as she’s the one with more experience. She’s the one who tells Jamie to take off his clothes too look at him and he does so.

Claire doesn’t just demand him to get naked and looks at him like he’s a piece of meant about to be munched. And Sam Heughan isn’t just there for us to watch him either. She interacts with him, she circles him, watches him and touches him. She appreciates his body. He then asks her the same and she does because she also wants to be seen. And is now his turn to enjoy her and her body. Despite they have already had sex before (clothed, though), they are now bonding and behaving like equals (Jamie is not longer a virgin). After that, he fucks her brains out and it’s very close to soft porn (gif above).

Dany does the same with Daario: she orders him to get naked for her pleasure.

And that’s it.

The scene doesn’t feel good. Because she’s not this girl who longs for contact and human touch: she’s a Queen who wants to get fucked. Like, yeah, she tells Daario that in the book, but she’s being playful (and we know Daario is not very happy with it). The scene can’t even been called empowering because it’s not such for Dany: she, the one who is against slavery, is treating Daario like she owes him, which is made more obvious after you remember she’s a Queen and he works for her and it feels a bit exploitative. And not, this is not a “you’re mine, I’m yours” kind of ownership between two lovers but as in a “you’re mine to use whenever I want” situation. Daario and Dany are shown being (semi) naked after sex in later scenes, but that doesn’t help to understand their dynamics: what they call each other during sex? How much they enjoy each others’ touch? This is what makes it personal. They had sex because HBO tells us so and we have to believe they lust after each other. That makes the scene impersonal and it feels more like HBO is just throwing us a male ass because they got tired to be criticised of being called sexist. “Look, ladies! a butt!!”.

Well, we’ve seen better male butts in this show, but that’s not the point.

In Season 4, we met the Hiper Bisexual Oberyn. And I call him hipersexual because this is what we’re supposed to feel about him: that he enjoys sex to the point he skipped the formal meeting with the welcome party of the King in order to go to a brothel. The Hand of the King had to go and look for him at the same brothel because that seemed to be his official residence, for God’s sake.

Just like Ned and Cat, Oberyn and Elaria have a complex relationship that goes beyond sex. They have four girls together and he loves her so much that he named their first girl Elia, after his beloved dead sister.

In the show, though, they look more like sexual partners than life partners. In the books, despite their open relationship, they don’t go and fuck everything that moves every other day. I mean, in the show, considering that Elaria lived in the brothel, she’s also there having sex with other wo/men while Oberyn is getting bored in the Red Keep. But, alas, that’s what the show has made of them… despite we never see that hot redviperish sex:

They’re clothed in their own orgy, the one I suppose they paid for (they are, after all, in a brothel). The ones naked and doing sexual things are the prostitutes. But not Oberyn and Elaria, nope. These two people that enjoy being sexual have sex with their clothes on for not explicable reason and they have more vanilla sex than the one we saw in 50 Shades of Grey. Again, they enjoyed each other because HBO has told us so. We don’t see them engage in the kind of sex that produced four adorable little rascals and a bad pussy.

In any case, this scenes are invented, or at least, exaggerated. We know Oberyn visited a brothel once, according to the books. As far as we know, that was the only one time he went there. They made the brothel be Oberyn’s residence because they wanted him to be this Dornish stud despite this added nothing to the plot or his own characterization except telling us that Dornish people fuck a lot, even though we never saw that fuckery.

BTW, that’s Pascal being a professional… (No, I haven’t watched the video because I hate both Sia and Klum so, meh). So, he doesn’t mind raunchy scenes… Maybe the problem is Indira Varma… prude bitch didn’t want to take off her clot…

I don’t understand. #NoOneUnderstaaands. Seriously, despite Oberyn and Ellaria spent book 3 rather talking and being nice to Sansa, the show wanted them to be very sexual on screen… but they never allowed them to prove us they liked to bang each other. It’s a mystery! What they have against people enjoying sex??

Remember when I told you that Outlander doesn’t have the fame of being sexual as GoT has? Well, here we have the male protagonist pleasuring his wife while she enjoys it. He gives her the Laird Lord’s Kiss and some cloth is strategically placed so this doesn’t become actual porn.

Jon and Ygritte spent their time together having so much sex that people had to pretty much unplug them apart. For Jon, it’s all a new experience and despite he regrets to betray his vows, he is enjoying being with Ygritte in every aspect. He’s, after all, a 16 years old kid that has just lost his virginity and it’s pretty much married to a girl that wants him too. The scene between them exist in the show. But again, compared with this one seen above, it’s once more tamed. It’s like they wanted to show that scene but not too much. We see Ygritte being “Jon’ed”, but we barely see Jon doing the Joning.

Jamie is there doing the Joning and Claire is seen being Joned and she’s enjoying it…

And speaking of Jamies… there is the sept scene. Gross as it is, it’s not rape. It was two people who didn’t see each other for more than a year playing the game they likely played before. At the end, both Cersei and Jaime have enjoyed the encounter, even if Cersei returns to her usual bitchy attitude. HBO turned it into rape. And even if you want to defend it and believe it was not rape, their encounter was definitely violent and not at all pleasurable for Cersei.

So, what’s happening with GoT, then? A lot of people get naked in the show but they are only naked as props. No main character is showed having enjoyable orgasmic sex with someone they have chosen to have such sex. Why?

I have two theories:

One, as I said above, is that the actors don’t want to do those scenes and the writers have agreed on it. Yes, many of them get naked on screen, but none of them is seen participate in a explicit sex scene. Even though they are indeed professionals, I’m sure mostly of them would rather not get naked and being rubbed by some stranger in an uncomfortable scene to film. It’s easier, after all, to simply portray the after or the before of such scenes.

Or maybe, it’s not the actors’ fault but the writers. They seem to have something against sex that is enjoyable by both parts and when such sex happens, they make it happen off-screen. The only sex they like to portray is violent forced sex. Rape. Even background rape. That sex they aren’t shy to show. There is something wrong and very fucked up with them if that’s the case.

There is also the chance that production feels like they don’t want to use those scenes because they believe that kind of sex is not mature enough and belongs to “romantic stories”. How silly.

Sex is a driven force in human beings, specially young ones. And Martin has made his characters very sexual in a very healthy way: Sansa’s arch is about her having her first sexual feelings about Sandor. Brienne, who is older, is also feeling lust for the first time. There is nothing perverted about these young ladies feeling sexually aroused and acknowledging they have sexual needs they want to share with the men they have chosen. For Jon and Dany, is even an act of rebellion. Dany puts aside her role as Queen when she’s with Daario and Jon betrayed his own views when he was with Ygritte and didn’t mind. This is a sex that empowers them. In GoT, sex is used to shame and humiliate characters and when a situation can’t be exploited, they use no sex at all.

So, there is no sex in GoT. Only people walking around naked and showing tits and asses. Why is that this show gets called progressive again?

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