The Enduring Nature of Friendship

There are many friendships we form over the entirety of our lifetimes. At the very youngest of ages, we form friendships that last from a few hours to a few days. As we grow older, our friendships tend to last longer and we experience a fullness of emotions and experiences.

Friendship, by its own definition, is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. It’s a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association.

One thing I have tried lately is to re-learn what words mean to see if what I understood at a younger age still holds true to what I see today in various aspects of my life. When I think of friendship today — in the meaning that’s presented in its definition — I realize how I didn’t fully appreciate what friendship means when I was younger and even a few short years ago.

However, I have come to know some who do and who have taught me, albeit indirectly, what the meaning and value of true friendship is. I have found that in many aspects of our lives, we have an idea of what something means or how something should work. Luckily, for all of us, there are those who have a better grasp of friendship than we do. These individuals provide us the context and the example that helps us fully understand how things are and how they ultimately can be.

Friendship requires us to be vulnerable to someone else. It’s asks us to join someone else on a common walk in life that affords us some companionship, to start, as we try and find our way in either new surroundings or situations. Through this vulnerability we ultimately become closer to someone else as our walk together becomes a journey of shared experiences.

These shared experiences allow us to draw closer and form deeper bonds that transcend the mutual affection that endears two or more individuals together. There is a point — that’s largely unknown and nondescript — where our friendships become more of a devotion to those whom we have grown to adore and even love.

We adore these individuals for reasons not always at the forefront of our minds but that are instead encapsulated in the deepest parts of our heart. These people know us, deeply, and even in that knowledge they accept us for who we are and the way that God made us. They replete our imperfections with their own gifts of grace and love. In turn, we try to give back in similar ways unique to us that fulfills the circle of friendship.

If we’re lucky these friendships become lasting relationships that allow for a deeper connection to others. If we are willing, the relationships can last a lifetime and the joy and fulfillment we experience will become a greater part of who we are. The shared experiences then become the fabric that is woven in to our life’s story. They ensure our lives have greater meaning as well as fulfilling our deepest needs of companionship and connection.

As the days turn to weeks and weeks in to seasons I find myself holding closer those whom I am able to call my friends. I am reminded of “It’s a Wonderful Life” where George Bailey’s character is toasted by his little brother in a very fitting and appropriate way; “No man is a failure who has friends.” I agree with that more than I ever have.

The value we have as individuals is often overlooked by a countless many we interact with throughout our lives. The unique attributes that make up who we are largely go unseen. We should not hold that against those who were not able to fully know or understand us. But, those who know us and choose to spend time with us validate and celebrate the shared joy and impact that only friends can have of a life that’s being lived congruently with one another.

And, at the end of the day, when we reflect on our lives and all that we have done our friends will share in our successes and mourn in our losses. Their willingness to share in every aspect of our lives is an affect of their love and devotion that helps make our lives complete.

While our lives are defined in many ways and by many measures, it is our friends who have a large stake in who we are and who we have become. Without them, our lives would never be what they have become — complete.