Lady Schumer of Comedy Rock

I admit when I first saw the woman I wanted to clunk her. I wanted to clunk her bad and when I started listening to what she had to say I wanted to clunk her even more because this woman was not only hot, but had something to say and that something spoke to me in a language I could understand. It was a language I felt comfortable with, a language I felt at ease hearing, speaking and repeating to those who also spoke my language. So instead of just wanting to clunk her, I wanted to hear what she had to say and find out more of what was inside Amy Schumer and what was rocking inside her brain. So I listened. I heard. I saw what I wanted to hear. Listen to what I wanted to listen to and saw what I wanted to see and through my observation and wondering eye I discovered something special about this lady. She is she is human. Just like you and me she is human and this made me rethink my initial desire to clunk her because once a magic trick is seen beyond the veil of the music, the magic trick ceases to be a mystery but an understanding of the trick’s complexity and its beautiful nature of origin.

Don’t get me wrong, I still wanted to clunk this woman but then I realized something wouldn’t be right about it. Not just the proclamation of a stranger’s desire to clunk Miss Schumer no there’s more to the wrongness than that. It lies more to the in the purpose of the act more than anything else. I mean what’s the reason in engaging in the act of clunking if the person doing the clunking can’t cook?

If she wanted me to go down to her kitchen and make her a meal she would never forget not only would I be terrified I would be clunked out of my mind!!! I mean I’m sure I could bang out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Or a solid course of cold oatmeal and toast, but other than that I’d have a hard time pleasing her with my skills because in my dreams I’m a top chef when it comes to clunking. In my dreams every woman loves my cooking. But in real life, oh boy…believe me my friends you don’t know what a nightmare is when a woman is dissatisfied with your food and chooses to “save it for later.” Talk about a dinner gone bad!

I think the experience would be similar to the time her college sweetheart tried to cook for her all those years ago. Now if you've read the article it was clear that this man had no business behind a counter in the kitchen! Especially HER clanking kitchen!! His friends should have known better god clank it!! They should have known friends don't let other friends cook drunk and friends sure as clank don’t let other friends clunk badly! This is kind of crap and irresponsibility gives men a bad name! It makes women not want to have late night snacks with us and that’s not cool man. It ain’t cool because I like my midnight snacks. Even though 99.9% of the time I have them by myself, it still isn’t cool. You disrespect the craft by engaging in that kind of nonsense and it needs to stop because if Lady Schumer of Comedy Rock can get on stage and blow our minds with her wit and charm we should be able to blow her clank in the kitchen. Oh don’t you look at me that way!! I’m sure as clank ain’t going to cook her a five course meal. Heck I suck at cooking. I really do. Delivery and takeout are my friends.

Miss Schumer is an extremely clunkable lady and I would love to clunk her but it wouldn’t be right because there is more to her than just a magic trick, more to her than just a trainwreck but a beautiful trick on a train her fans all love riding. A train full of lovely drugs. Laughing gas is the clank yo!!! A beautiful train full trains and trains and more trains. I hope this woman finds what she is looking for. And I hope she finds her america’s top chef who can clunk for her, cook for her, and clank her socks off with a spatula.