90 Days of Sobriety- Day 4

I’m going to be embarking on a 90 day trip of sobriety, where the only tools I’ve brought with me are sheer will and determination. If I don’t make it back, tell Jameson that I loved him.

New year, new me. Bullshit? Kinda. Inspiring? Not right now, but hopefully later.

It has been four days since I’ve had a drink of anything alcoholic. In the process of refraining from alcohol, I decided to throw in the diet of less carbs and refined sugar. This means, no bread, no pizza, no burgers…no fun. But wait, there’s more. My girlfriend and I have started doing fitness routines together. Hopefully, by the end of all of this, I can tolerate what my life has become.

My job is fitting for this decision. I currently run the front of house management position at a 24 hour diner, where one of my duties includes inventory and ordering of beer and wine. The reason I have this job is due to the fact that I like to drink. By medical questionnaires, I would be considered an alcoholic. My average drinking amount was six shots and two beers, any more than that and I would be drunk. Any less, and I wouldn’t be satisfied.

The question of sobriety has hung around my head for some time now. A few of my friends have quit drinking altogether. Their newfound free time has been embraced by their hunger for life. I have witnessed the creation of determination and felt the tinge of jealousy. Their lives have made complete 180° and dreams that were mentioned at parties are now reality. Meanwhile, I would grab another drink to deaden the nerves and quiet the chaos that is my mind.

Here it is though, four days in and my mind is awakening to the chaos again. Thoughts don’t stay still. Concentration is there, but it’s similar to riding a rocket without a saddle. Sleep is better, but shorter. I would sleep a solid eight hours with a couple drinks in me, now I only require 6. After that, my mind starts puking out thoughts like a college freshman at a frat party. Which leads me here.

Disjointed thoughts, combined with poor grammar and punctuation, will hopefully give way to better writings later as the rest of the poison leeches from my system. Thank you for joining me on this journey, and may we all learn something from this.