On the Topic of Doubt
Hospital sitting, to me, is second only to airport lounging. There’s a purposeful, sometimes frenetic energy that fills the room. People are looking for answers to questions they don’t even know how to ask, or what the implications might even be. The doctors and nurses walk around dressed in an identifiable garb that seem to put them on an entirely different level. One that says, I have the answers to your questions/concerns.
When I see this, I think to myself, “What an incredible pressure this must be.” To have to be the vessel through which healing flows to the bodies of others must be intimidating, particularly when you yourself are of the same ilk of those whom you are trying to save.
I feel this same way about the category of religion. In particular, my faith. Christianity is built on the backs of those who have come before, tracing its origins back to one man, who was supposedly divine and human…at the same time. As a pastor, people (teenagers, mostly) come to me when they are hurting. From broken hearts, to suicide attempts, I’ve been exposed to much of what goes wrong in the life of this tech-driven generation. If I’m honest, I feel unqualified to help with these problems, as I am of the same ilk. I am broken, hurting, and in need of help.
There is no satisfying ending for a post of this nature. I could provide a platitude, and simply remind the reader to “lean on Jesus.” However, I am opting for the unresolved tension that comes part and parcel with taking anything on faith. We keep moving forward not inspite of our doubts, but because of them.
If this whole thing turns out to be false, and we are to indeed be pitied above all people, then we must move forward to help each other. We must make this the best earthly life possible for ourselves and future generations.
However, if Christ turns out to be the real deal (which I obviously believe and affirm with my whole heart), then we are on a time sensitive mission, to make known the love of God to a world in desperate need.