Lagos Uber Stories: Adulthood is a 419
Do you mean to tell me that my touching life-changing money isn’t enough to help me through life? Inflation has literally changed what we think is life-changing money over and over again. The more it changes, the more the life-changing figure in your head changes, and nobody says anything about it. Suppose your definition of life-changing money is 100m Naira; in that case, Inflation is here to tell you that you should add another round of zeros because the money you’re looking for can’t even buy you a New house in Pinnock Beach in Osapa, London. Can’t we just protest or something?
I don’t think my Dad saw that amount in his life, but guess what? He had four houses in the 90s. He built his first at the age of 25 with a brand-new Peugeot 505 to celebrate it. I am 27 this year, and all I can say is Alhamdulillah and my 2005 Corolla. This car goes for 7m Naira now. Isn’t that ridiculous? How much did I buy it? So you see that with my 100m Naira life-changing money in my hand, I will be left with 93m Naira if I decide to buy this car out of it.
Is that not madness, or do you mean to tell me that the more money I make, the more my chances of feeding the next day? I am supposed to be a big man with that money, but I am not. One hundred million Naira is the same amount some politicians paid to pick a certain party's presidential ticket during the last election. Some of us won’t even touch that much money for the rest of our lives, whether we like it or not. I’m sure that if my Dad had such money in the '90s, he would have bought properties all over Lagos, including the highly coveted Banana Island. I would have been a proud son of a rich man. Now is my turn to grow up and start living, life decided to become friends with inflation and leave me frustrated.
Anyway, I’m optimistic, and you know what they say about optimism; they say it keeps you alive. You can’t give up because once you do, you die. The reason why a plant keeps growing daily is not because of the water or fertilizer you give to it but the hope you have in it that it will grow when you do the routine. Once you stop showing up, it dies. This orientation is why I still grind daily and do this Uber business after my 9–5. At least, I am sure those two income streams will bring me returns, and I can meet my expenses.
I had a cake business that died due to my inability to find trustworthy people to manage it. Sometimes, I blame them for wiping out that business, but most times, I know the fault is mine. I didn’t handle that business the way I should have. I was the chief caterer, and I also do Uber. My secretary won’t let me know when we get orders. The client would have been requesting refunds by the time I found out. Do you see the problem? As I have little knowledge about business in Nigeria, I am certain you can’t build a business if the refund is more than the income. It means something is wrong with the set-up. I sacked everyone and closed the business. At least I can focus on these with me without thinking about who needs cake and who doesn’t.
My dad had a network of drivers travelling around the country and some parts of East and West Africa. And not once did he complain about the conduct of these guys, and the business grew. Whenever I think about it, I conclude that maybe there’s a huge reduction in the quality of people nowadays. It seems like the people in my Dad’s time will do so much to help you build since they’re paid well and you handle their welfare better. Nowadays, you can be nice and all of that to show the human side of you, and they will still take your money away.
You’re laughing? Haven’t you heard of cases where someone has been employed as a delivery guy, given a bike, and disappears with the bike before the close of business for the day? This is someone who has been in the comments begging people to help him feed his family but look at him making the same family proud.
So don’t even try to give it a thought, adulthood is the reason we are all out there grinding. I am even a Nigerian where my government preaches about sacrifice that they will never give. I have been out all day with 50,000 Naira worth of fuel, and ask me if I have made that same amount. Now we know the enemy, and we still can’t get him arrested because he is dealing with even the enforcer of the laws. Sadly, it will be with us until the curtain falls, so either you adapt or you adapt.
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