A Festive 500 that made no sense but made a lot of sense.

Rarely, rarely do I need a reason to ride my bike. But the Festive 500 came at a time when all of a sudden the only thing that made sense was riding a bicycle in sub 30 degrees, rain, slush, snow and headwinds that could take the humanity right from you in Central/Northeast Iowa. Every morning I woke up, ate oatmeal, drank some coffee with my mother and then put on layer after layer and chunked out a bunch of mileage. This is my story about eight days of winter riding that meant a lot more than just base mileage.

Day one: December 24th
End of Day total KM: 168.337

To say I was excited about this ride is an understatement. I barely slept all night and all it was was a training ride in December, none the less Christmas Eve. But the night before I created a route and what a route it was — 105 miles, all road, down the Des Moines River Valley twice and went through a lot of Iowa I have not been too for quite some time since I went to college. I had never biked on some of these roads since I “got fit” and lost a ton of High School weight, so I was excited to see what those roads would be like. As I’m getting ready for bed the unthinkable happens and snowflakes begin to fall. Meh, it will all be off the roads by the AM I thought to myself.

Upon waking up, I realized that all of these roads probably wouldn’t be safe on a 23c tire bike (foreshadowing, I would’ve been fine.) And I made a decision that turned out to be probably one of the dumbest decisions I could make and turned this ride into one epic expedition into in all honesty one of the most difficult and bonkers solo century I have ever completed. Here’s what happened.

Being Christmas Eve and all, my parents thought it was a wise decision to let me open a present a day early. Normally, I’m fairly against this idea but they insisted. Boy am I glad they did. What I opened up happened to be a very, very warm pair of gloves which kept my fingers warm and toasty all week long.

While eating oatmeal (I seriously like oatmeal), I created a new route. This route was 105 miles of gravel. Yes, gravel. I’m known to be a bit of a gravel grinder — but I forgot the whole thing that snow does to gravel — it turns it into sand/mush/slush/theworstdamnstufftorideinever. At mile 5 I took this photo —

I’m not 100% sure I can do a thorough job narrating the converation I had with myself. But it went something along the lines of this. “Josh, what in the hell are you doing? Like, you could turn around. Actually, no you cant.” I probably left out a swear word or 4.

I kept chuggin’ along and then this moment — well call this clarity—happened. We shall call this first blood.

Every century ride I’ve done there’s almost always this point and time when things just get mentally tough. You question what you are doing, you want to eat an entire box of donuts and you just don’t want to pedal. I think this is normal? Well usually this point happens in the mile 60 range —you’ve went a long way but still got a long way to go type of scenario. Well in this ride, this moment happened at mile 25. I looked at my Garmin while putting in a mad effort and it read — 9mph. Averaging 12.5 miles an hour I realized I was going to run out of daylight at this pace. I then found a rode and got off the miserable gravel and things quickly turned around for the better. I bombed a couple of river valley descents and was then blessed with roughly 40 miles of tailwind. Glorious. For 60 miles, I had a dutch letter pastry on my mind and it did not disappoint. Warmed up the toes with a nice latte, apple tart and dutch letter at the local bakery — filled with a lot of questionable looks/glares/stares whatever you want to call it in small town Iowa. Spandex isn’t quite understood here.

The rest of the ride was pretty chill. Lots of tailwind with a little bit of headwind but an overall sense of satisfaction — which has been on the low side. I arrived home after 104.6 miles to my folks who cooked a meal of all meals to prep me for the second day.

Day two: December 25th
End of Day total KM: 233.033

Christmas didn’t quite feel like Christmas. Nicole (sister) was not home yet so we saved the festivities for when she would arrive which wasn’t going to be till roughly 10:00pm. All though, I think we started a new family tradition by smoking ribs which was more than enough reason to pile on layer after layer to suffer in the cold. Today’s ride was supposed to be an easy 20 since yesterday’s ‘fiasco’ was crazy. But feeling surprisingly well and putting a damper on December Blues, we turned that ride into a nice 40. Santa provided some serious sun which made me question why I didn’t do yesterday’s ride today. Oh well. My friend Kurt got myself and another friend these, how do I phrase it, RAD jerseys. Of course I doned it to get in the festive spirit.

Day three: December 26th
End of Day total KM: 294.188

Day three was the day when the previous week had started to catch up to me. The thing about these miles in these conditions are that they take a very long time. It takes so much longer to change, to recover, to shake off the loopiness and you just move slow. This ride was a case of that. Trying to get out early enough so I could make it back in time for lunch with some old friends I hadn’t seen in a coons age, this ride turned into an out and back that was cold and not very enjoyable. But at the end of the day it was a step closer to completion and a step closer to the goals I have for the year. Not every ride is meant to be instagrammed or immortalized in photography and this was that ride. Just a ride.

Day four: December 27th
End of Day total KM: 361.298

This was the ride that I started to realize that I don’t know many routes around my parents place — since I’ve done the same square multiple times by now. But this time I mixed it up and did it in reverse. Sup. The weather was the same — no sun, cold and wind that just hurts. The highlight of this ride? An adventure into Slater for a couple more miles led me to finding this gem and a conversation that was just too rich.

As I was trying to take a photo of my bike next to this tree in a manhole in the middle of an intersection, a friendly individual approached me and this was the conversation:

Man: “Want me to take your picture? I thought, hell somebody has to be crazy to be riding in this cold.” Josh: “Well, sure! I’ve never seen something like this before.” Man: “What do you mean?” Josh: “Ya know, a Christmas tree in a manhole in the middle of an intersection.” Man: “Oh. Ya.”

Thank you very much kind citizen of Slater.

Day five: December 28th
End of Day total KM: 361.298

I took an off day but it was much more than just an off day. This was the second annual father/son trip to a Chiefs game at Arrowhead stadium. Beers, BBQ and some quality Dad bonding. The thing about my Dad, my mother too, is that we all know the odds of me making it into the Tour de France are very, very, very small. But every time I ride my bike or get ready for a race — they treat me and the event I’m participating in like I will and can make it to that level someday.

Day six: December 29th
End of Day total KM: 444.983

Another dagger from mother nature was thrown today: more cold and a lot of snow. What does this mean? Racking up some single track miles. For the first time in awhile I rode with someone other than myself. Kurt and I attempted to meet up for coffee but went straight to single track and followed it up with a chocolate chip cookie and an Americano. I’m starting to realize I ride purely to eat whatever on earth I feel like.

After I left Kurt, I decided to take the longer route home and came across the Katoski Greenbelt Trail — which is roughly 5ish miles from my house yet I have never rode/explored. And what a beauty it was. So peaceful and came across this sweet #lightbro moment.

Day seven: December 30th
End of Day total KM: 501.793 (boo yah)

I’m not sure what I was more happy about. Completing the #Festive500 a day early or surviving -18 windchill. Yup, that’s what the temperature was. To paint a better picture, this is what I wore on my face.

We also explored the full greenbelt trail again today. So beautiful.

And with one day to spare I rode 500+km in 7 days with an extra 140 km in the 5 days previously.

Day eight: December 31th
End of Day total KM: 558.925

Today was the “Group ride that was also a birthday ride that was also a see you later 2014 ride that we accidentally had one two many pitchers of beer after” ride.

What a way to say peace out 2k14 with a bunch of dudes riding bikes in -20 windchill then top it off with some pizza and beer. Probably too much beer. Whoops.

And this was my eight days of winter riding that reminded me multiple things. The beautiful thing about cycling is that you get back exactly what you invest. You can’t explain the logic about riding in -20 degrees, slush, snow and whatever mother nature throws at you. But exactly when things stop making sense is when everything becomes clear — and that’s what my 500 kilometers was all about.