Fucking hell, Cook, I’ve just managed to talk myself out of a restraining order from these two and you go and pull this.

Ha. Yeah, man – completely – I’m just about to finish a mixed tape for alto. I’m just having trouble finding a tinny enough version of Tenderness by the General Public. I just wanna see him do his Molly Ringwald dance again before I’m carted off by the cops, you know?

In all seriousness [pause for effect] thanks for writing this.

Incidentally, do you know when I discovered my love for beautiful gay men? Have you ever seen this?