Eleven years ago, after having graduated cum laude with an Honours bachelor of arts (European Studies and French Studies) I had no doubt that I was about to set out and change the world. As an activist at heart, I wasn’t sure how, but I was anticipating it would be via Brussels Or Geneva.
I also married the love of my life just a couple of months later, I now had a life partner with whom I could share and achieve my dreams! 9 months later, we were blessed with our first daughter. We were 3! But here I was, isolated, chained to the nursing chair, changing diapers, instead of changing the world. That was against everything I had been taught about self-realization. A true internal conflict broke out between my mothering instinct and that rationalization that I could be doing so much more. I honestly felt too important for being “just” a mom.
But the heart has its ways, and this new love opened up new desires. It revealed other truths about what is truly important. Being charged with the moral, physical and spiritual well being of a unique and irreplaceable human being, your very own flesh and blood which wasn’t but now came into being, pushes you to the unimaginable. You have a world to form right in front of you. You see what you are made of when a vulnerable and innocent human being depends on you for their very existence. You start to fade in the background while they become the full focus. It is no longer about “your needs”, “your” interests, “your” desires, “your” time, “your” job, “your” hobbies, it is all about what is best for them! It is hard, it can stir up revolt but it also reveals to us what real, selfless love is made of and what truly matters.
And here’s where my heart was moved to a new kind of activism. An activism that promotes love above all else. Especially the kind of love that we hardly ever see or hear about. And the doors opened. This new activism brought us to numerous high schools, conferences, 10s of different cities in 6 different countries, it put us in touch with hundreds and thousands across the country and outside (via social media). Children are alive because of it. Young people have refound hope and faith in the ideals of life and love. Beautiful families have been formed.
Four children later, I realize motherhood never kept me back. It always propelled me forward. It always reoriented my endeavors in light of the greatest priorities.
Consistently making the hard decisions: to marry early, to have multiple children, to homeschool and to foster love in the home has brought upon the greatest fulfillment outside the home.
As such, anyone who tells women they can’t do it all, that they’re too young or too old or too weak or too uneducated to have children, is misguided at best. Anyone who tells women that motherhood takes away from their prestige and potential has probably been deceived by the current of our materialistic and individualistic society and continues to spread the deception. I firmly believe that if anyone can do it all, it is mothers!
Motherhood doesn’t tie you down. It gives you wings to fly beyond any of your imagined limits. It opens up horizons to the true needs and values of life and the human person. Motherhood reveals your strengths (and your weaknesses). Motherhood empowers you to be and do everything you were meant to.
Motherhood allows you to leave a physical mark on the world even after you’re gone. Motherhood is not just about changing the present, but also the future. The greatest ideals of the feminine spirit can be achieved in and through motherhood. Motherhood (as fatherhood) creates heroes!
Last month I was at a conference in Brussels, with some of my activist heroes and I was reminiscing on that day, 11 years ago, when I held my diploma thinking it will be my ticket to the European Parliament, one of the headquarters of “world-changers”- my ultimate destination when I enrolled in my university program. Now, it was just as stop along the way. I am grateful for the amazing people, whom I can also call dear friends, who work at this level promoting the grand ideals of life, love and freedom. I was also grateful to be heading back to my micro world, my inspiration and strength and greatest support: my husband and our 4 children who will continue to challenge me and inspire me to be better, stronger, braver, gentler in my mission to spread the truth about authentic love and the dignity of human life.