I also believe this is what drives a lot of them – that sense of absolute entitlement they feel to another’s body, to use however they want. It simply never occurs to them that the other person matters at all. All that matters is what they want.

And what they want varies, of course. Some get off on the power and control. Some have elaborate sick scenarios they are playing out for their own amusement and pleasure. But again, the one thing they all believe to their core is that what they, (the rapist) wants is the only thing that needs considering. So, yes, it is 100% entitlement.

But that begs another question: where does that sense of entitlement come from? What are the things that produce that feeling of “only I matter” within them?

I think the answers to those questions are very complex, and likely go right to the heart of what is sick and wrong in our culture.

But I think they are absolutely necessary questions to ask (and try to answer). Asking the “why” and “how” questions does NOT, in my view, ever excuse that type of horrific act. No rational or fair person should ever excuse rape. Ever.

But trying to get at the root causes of things is important, because it can help protect and prevent these types of things from happening. Knowledge is a power that we can use to take away the rapist’s power.

In short: Asking why is not the same as saying it is understandable or excusable. Not at all. Asking why is just one of the things we can do that might help stop the epidemic of sexual assault that exists in so many places.