This is the only part of your piece that gives me pause.

I know someone – not saying who, for privacy reasons – who has terminated five pregnancies.

Which seems outrageous – in the sense that, as you point out, birth control is indeed a thing!

But honestly, knowing what I know about the context/story behind each of those pregnancies…it seems less foolhardy (in terms of contraceptive use) than what might be assumed.

In fact, taken in isolation, each one of those terminations falls into categories that even some anti-abortion folks see as exceptions to their “abortions are bad” rule: two were due to being in an coercive/abusive relationship (as in, she was impregnated as a form of abusive control, and had to get the abortions behind his back); one was a wanted pregnancy but was terminated due to an incompatible-with-life birth defect; another was the result of a sexual assault; the last was in the context of a one night stand and she had just lost her job.

So, in other words, none of those pregnancies were technically the result of irresponsible behaviour around birth control (except maybe the last one – although she said they used condoms, but that it failed. Which does happen.)

Yet the number five…I will admit it makes me uncomfortable and sad to think about, just on a basic human/emotional level.

I am not entirely sure what my point is, other than to say that even if someone has had multiple pregnancy terminations (or been responsible for them), that does not necessarily mean they are being irresponsible with birth control (often it does…but not necessarily). Each pregnancy and abortion occurs within a larger context that can often be very complex.

Anyway – not trying to be argumentative or anything ;-), I just felt compelled to make that point that out based on this one women I know (and no it is not me, hah).

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