My sexual orientation is hetero but I simply cannot recall any day in which it was a struggle to not give in to my urges.
And now let’s hear from one of your favorite experts.
Wendy F
92

That is an excellent point Wendy F

I identify as bisexual, since I have always had attractions to both males and females (I would likely also be open to those who are trans or gender fluid, but that is another topic entirely, hah).

However, I live a very “hetero” life. I have been with my male partner since I was 20 years old, in a monogamous relationship.

To most people in my life, I am also in the closet. Talking about my bisexuality is not something I do (beyond stating it like this as part of a larger discussion). I have my reasons for that, but suffice to say, I am decidedly not “out.”

Despite bisexuality being my orientation since I was aware of my sexuality at all (although I did not know the term “bisexuality” back when I was a kid), and one that I have not been able to act upon or even be open about most of my life, I do not struggle in any major way to keep my hands off the various pretty women I see and know.

In fact, I have had dozens of female friends, acquaintances and co-workers over the years who I have found attractive and appealing in “that way,” but not ONCE have I ever had to “fight” myself to avoid touching them in a sexual way without their consent. Not even for a split second have I had to fight such an urge.

The elements of obsessiveness and compulsion and non-consent that make up pedophiles’ attractions are unhealthy and NOT normative.

Even people who are heterosexual who cannot control their urges are defined as being unhealthy and not normative – they are termed sex addicts and often seek treatment.

Society should not and cannot condone or encourage or accept things that are destructive. Treatment and/or punishment (when appropriate) are the only options when we are talking about behaviours and urges that can lead to great harm.

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