Julian Dumitrascu
Sep 9, 2018 · 5 min read

I like your words a lot.

I feel that humans succeed when they use computers to communicate as well as they communicate in person. As I was reading I felt as if we had met, you were telling these things and I was in a regular audience of (Let’s say!) 1 or 4. I felt what you conveyed; I hurt when I read you were hurting and I enjoyed finding out you are well.

1. You wrote about Xanax and Ambien: “I wish they didn’t exist.” What I felt when I read this is comparable to what I felt when I read that a child shouted that the emperor is naked.

1.1 Should you or anybody you know want to start a treatment, I can get you in touch with therapists that would help you restore your balance, instead of complicating the imbalance.

1.2 I read that USA residents have been prescribed huge quantities of medicine like Xanax. You can suggest that we discuss what has been happening to the extent that you’d like something done about this.

2. I have added you to a martial arts database because I want to help people with similar goals and interests to find one another. Our common interest seems to be martial arts, so you can communicate with me about Jujutsu. (I have copied the main name listed in Wikipedia.) I have an initiative meant to make martial arts more popular.

3. I like noting in a database what services a person provides. What are you selling in 2018?

I also sell such information. When a person wants to buy or rent something, my team searches our databases and chooses the provider most fitting for that request. We analyze people’s requests carefully in order to maximize the value of our recommendations.

4. I hurt the most when I read about your mismatch from Florida. In 2003 a mismatch almost killed me. Your life and mine, among many others, show that the most costly and the most influential relationships are those between (people who would become) life partners. I would probably do anything to help anyone find their match.

Who would buy such a service?

Many people have paid for dating services.

facebook is the largest database of people and the most used for finding a date.

4.1 What worsens the benefit / cost ratio of a relationship between two people?

4.1.1 One notices another; one feels attracted to them. One goes too quickly from “I’m interested in your eyes.” to “We’re fucking.”. Lovemaking binds people in a special way and one usually feels inclined (not only due to lovemaking) to imagine a life together with one’s sex partner. Life perspectives are different at 20 and at 40, but the feelings are similar.

One needs to express oneself as clearly as possible and to postpone sex in order to understand it and value it more accurately.

One needs to understand one’s interlocutor well. We misconstrue or ignore many words.

One needs to reflect on one’s perception of a new romantic interest.

One needs to talk with someone about what one is experiencing. I can offer guidance e.g. from psychotherapists.

4.1.2 We focus too much on: “We have sex.” Doesn’t the quality of lovemaking decrease with the quality of foreplay? I’ve also seen that people desire less to spend their nights together if their communication is unsatisfactory.

4.1.3 We spend money on transportation, food, drinks, accommodation, and entertainment that don’t help us communicate and build a relationship.

4.2 What makes a bad relationship possible?

4.2.1 Being single.

Being single starts causing suffering one day. That suffering keeps increasing and one is under higher and higher pressure to end one’s suffering, so one is more open to acting unwisely, to building a relationship with a person with whom one doesn’t love spending time.

4.2.2 Shunning living by oneself.

I’ve lived a long time by myself. Some people can understand what is pleasant about this. But nobody plans on lonely adulthood. Our nervous system imagines things. Its picturing loneliness after breaking up with one’s current life partner is realistic. (Such a function helps people in general to make efforts to improve their communication.) But nobody should be alone when they have to decide on how much more to invest in a certain person. I want to make it more probable that at least one other person will take time to think together with life partners about what steps are useful.

Many people have pointed out that leaving a mismatch doesn’t mean that one will live forever without a life partner.

At the same time, living with a mismatch has cost our society a lot; an example is what they call “domestic violence”; a phrase like “Man beats woman.” is more probable to be used by our psyche, which has hardly any reaction to phrases like “domestic violence”. I’ve had for many years the impression that some people communicate publicly with some insincerity; when they feel forced to tell the truth, they abuse language and brains with wordings that are difficult to follow. This keeps the public dialogue insincere and brakes actions to restore balance.

To the extent that anybody wants to have such discussions, I can have my company offer a relationship management service to which people can resort when it helps them the most. We provide services that aid people in their daily lives and can support efforts to find one’s match. We haven’t been asked: “How do I find my match?” Tales show how people find their matches. Some left me wondering about what the happy life promised at their end looks like. I feel that they end there because one’s mission is accomplished: this is where life starts and one doesn’t need to read a (hand)book about life. So we would provide support until one finds the life partner one would never leave. I’d also like to stay in touch with these people and enjoy witnessing balanced life. Many people have written that they want their faith in humanity restored. I want to bear witness to good relationships and help restore this faith.

5. How do feel now, that you’ve fallen for this woman? Do you feel that together you will fulfill all your needs? I can use more beautiful words, but sometimes I shy away from using big words.

I haven’t covered everything, nor have I written here everything I think about these topics. You can communicate with me about anything you like.

Julian Dumitrascu

Written by

My teams provide services, data, and software that help people manage their relationships, resources, and data: www.sol.enterprises