I lost my virginity when I was 12 years old.
This comes from a place of concern and I don’t consider it as badge of honour rather This story is an educational piece.
Losing virginity, kwani what’s the big deal it’s like a Kenyan on corruption, we all have to do it!
Not judging, but the body count conversations on social media. ladies trying to always expose a little bit more than necessary. arguments on exploring sexuality, compared to all these my statement seems as odd as ordering Ugali at Artcafe ama croissants kwa Mama Oliech.
By the time I was in class 3 we were already exposed or somehow introduced to sex. There was always a naked magazine being passed around when the teacher has his back on us, concentrating on the black board busy trying to find X.
“ule ni dame wangu” Placing your hand on a girls chest was one of those things all too familiar at this point of our age.
We knew who was sleeping with who, yes! — as Much as sometimes you can’t trust boys stories. Unfortunately we had proof. In primary school, a boy would not go to visit a girl alone, he has to roll with his boyz. Partly as security in case there is another boy trying to put his hand on that cooky jar or because of her brothers, brothers tend to be too possessive.
My experience happened in the school toilet. Every Friday in our school was overall cleaning day. Whereby classes took turns in washing the entire school. This particular Friday was our turn. The teacher were always not around, the activities were supervised by headboys and school prefects.
I was tense but I had to do what I had to do after all few of my friend knew what I was up to. The girl of my choice was tall, light skinned and we always make eye contact in class. I occasionally threw chewed paper at her; This wasn’t paper mache, we called it paper mate! Strange childish way of declaring love!
The date was set. The girls washroom of course were separate from the boys but after a certain hour of time the rules don’t apply.
I didn’t know what it means, how to do it. I just had to. My “partner in crime" was aware and we made a decision; how and when it’s gonna go down.
And It went down! the clothes and indeed the deed.
By the time it got to this it was more of adding a bad fruit to a basket of bad fruits. When fire is not controlled it becomes destructive.
In every neighbourhood you have the video dens,mostly wooden structure where they show movies and nowadays the football marches. Past 8pm was forbidden for kids, no posters were up on the board where they display rosters of the days movies to play.
It’s supposed to be adult only but for the right prices, a toddler can join the “Mambo mseto”
We always walked from Dandora phase 4 to phase 2 to watch the adult movies. To avoid familiar faces. The videos dens at that time are dark inside, with guys chewing miraa with coke or sprite in their hand sipping, not removing the bottle top instead punching a hole in the middle of the bottle top.
The movie den is always quiet and the images on the screen got everybody glued.if you want to be stoned to death just put on the light and they will put off your light.
Sex for us was more out of curiosity and experimental. what we didn’t know was the lasting effect and we awaken desires that were better left dormant.
By the time we were in class eight many girls had dropped out of school because of early pregnancy.
Another strange thing was that I still don’t get was a common trend whereby girl friend or wives of slain thugs only got married or went out with the next thug.
The girls who went for parties had to be hard core or have respected or feared boyfriend. We had something called “Kuchotwa” where a group of guys can come, take your chick as you dance and do whatever with her. I actually call it rape!
You see when the mucus sticks its head a little bit out of the nose and you have to sniff in to get it back? Well, the STIs were not like that. They are Real and painful.
I was a little lucky my mom was a discipline master and this got us in check
In our family we had three parents; the father, the mother and a big cane which made sure we never strayed and stayed inline. caning in our house was a big event that i came in as Ngartia by the time my mom finished with me i identified myself as manono.
I was daring and expressive that while we were in form two we dated form four chicks. We thought we were cool, myself and my best friend then Dominic lunjala. The form four guys even laid an ambush on us to deter us from taking their “women".
After I became a familiar face in the industry I became more attractive..opposite attract. Namsaying!!
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Even after been born again, it was a hard habit to get rid off. God saves you but it take more time to reverse the habits and addiction that you were into.
At that time we didn’t have access to what an eleven year old has now, I can’t begin to imagine what they are exposed to now.
Throughout this experiences I cannot recall ever becoming richer, brighter or better after engaging into sex. We make it Look like it is everything and in reality after, we gain nothing.
“nilijitoa team mafisi na nita piga kura positively nisichague team mafleecing”
Reader discretion advice: Above line has nothing to do with this story.
Yes you can win someone’s heart but understand that they also carry, Come with other people in their souls. Consider their history and who they’ve slept with, yes! You are sharing the same soul with them. I have had my share of the experience and I am not proud of myself.
We have denied people the opportunity to experience and enjoy this great sacrament with people they love and love them back. We demote them to “my side chick”, “my mpango wa kando” or whichever word we use nowadays. Am equally guilty.
Maybe we need to confess to those whom we love, those who we care about and allow them to make a choice and at least know who else they are sharing your soul with or maybe it a gesture to finally release them ones who are still stuck in our souls and finally live lighter and free.