The Digital Connection Dilemma: Can We Truly Connect in a Virtual Space? Three concerns and a step forward
Have we met?
No, not really, but here we are having a one-sided conversation about connection. You’re on Instagram, right? TikTok? Twitter? So, we’re connected? [Nods head.]
But are we really? We can DM each other. We can add reaction emojis (for those older than 20, that is). But, amidst all the likes, comments, and virtual conversations, one question remains —
Are we really connecting?
I often wonder at this because my research on play and connections with other playologists (my made up word for those studying the science of play) leads me to online connections. I have written two books on play — one for educators, one for general humans, and presented multiple lectures on the power of play.
I know that face- to- face communication is key for wellness and overall development. Am I doing myself a disservice with leaning on online connections? Do I get the same benefits of human connection in a virtual space?
Here are three concepts to consider as we seek understanding, and how I’m carving out my path forward.
1. The Paradox of Distance and Proximity:
The internet’s power to bridge geographical gaps brings us closer together in ways we never thought possible.
However, this proximity can sometimes lead to a false sense of connection. This false impression might manifest in a number of ways, including:
- Anonymity and Pseudonyms:
Anonymity can sometimes result in a lack of accountability and genuine connection, as individuals may not feel the need to maintain the same level of responsibility and empathy they would in face-to-face interactions. - Absence of Physical Presence:
Online interactions simply cannot replicate the warmth, touch, and shared physical experiences that can foster deep bonds.
Amidst the constant notifications and superficial exchanges, it becomes essential to navigate the paradox and seek meaningful connections that go beyond the illusion of closeness.
2. The Limitations of Non-Verbal Communication:
Swipe, like, repost.
Online communication has its limitations, particularly when it comes to the absence of non-verbal cues. Emoticons, GIFs, and video calls attempt to bridge the gap, but they cannot fully replicate the richness of face-to-face interactions.
- Lack of Face-to-Face Interaction:
Non-verbal cues like body language and tone of voice are often missing, leading to potential misunderstandings or misinterpretations. - Shallow or Superficial Interactions:
Communicating online is often fast — swipe, like, repost. When we engage like this, interactions can lack depth.
What’s the science here? Read on.
When we are in close physical proximity to someone we know, our brain releases the neurohormone oxytocin.
When it is released from the pituitary gland, (via a high five, fist bump, pat on the back…) oxytocin tells us the other person is present and ready to listen, cry, or laugh alongside us. While more research is needed to confirm here, there is a strong belief that we lose the oxytocin effect of shared emotional connection in the virtual world.
3. The Mask of Digital Identity:
The allure of presenting our life’s highlights can create a barrier to genuine connection.
- Selective Self-Presentation:
When we choose to share only the positive aspects of our lives, we create an idealized version of themselves. This choice can lead to a false perception of others and may hinder authentic connections. - Distraction and Overstimulation: #informationoverload
Excessive stimulation of online environments can make it challenging to focus on building genuine relationships.
A step forward: The Importance of Offline Engagement:
While the digital realm provides an avenue for initial connections, it is offline engagement that cements and strengthens these bonds.
Henry Jenkins’ concept of participatory culture (the idea that private individuals act as both producers and consumers of online content) encourages individuals to bridge the gap between online and offline worlds. We can do this by:
- Meeting in person,
- participating in real-world activities, and
- engaging in face-to-face conversations
All of these ideas allow us to engage into the human aspects of connection. Life is a contact sport. The more we show up, the more we get out of it. Showing up offline enriches our understanding of others, fostering trust, empathy, and a sense of genuine connection. Now, THAT is true play.
As a play ambassador for the US Play Coalition, I’m passionate about sharing the power of play for wellness and overall happy lives. As you continue to seek answers to your own questions on play, you might be interested in the following articles:
- The five qualities of playful intelligence: How I found what my life was missing
- How to find your dream job: The role of play personalities in career fulfillment
- Mirror Neurons and the Power of Your Inner Circle: 5 Reasons Why Our Closest Connections Matter
Do you need additional support for incorporating play in your life?
- Listen to our playful banter as we seek to build a playful life.
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Julie: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook - Jed: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook
- Consider buying our books on Bookshop.org, Barnes & Noble, Target, or Amazon. We appreciate the love.
- Enroll in one of our FREE courses.
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