Lifing

Resiliency

noun

1.the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., afterbeing bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2.ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or thelike; buoyancy.

One of the reasons I love Biology and am so impressed by the human body can be simplified to one word- resiliency. Humans are so resilient; physically, mentally and emotionally we have been created to overcome, to heal, to mend.

I like to believe that humans were not created to break. Our bodies can stretch beyond belief, let’s considered the miracle of giving birth. We are resilient beings physcially, let alone mentally and emotionally. I think we were created like this on purpose; we were created to overcome, therefore, it is a choice to do the opposite- to break.

Why would anyone choose to break?

I do not believe we were created to hold trauma, to fight back tears, to soldier through life. Nope, I know that breaking is a choice that many of us do not considered because we are unsure if we can handle being broken. I do not think that many of us think we are strong enough to break. We are afraid our faith will not sustain. This could all potentially be true. We could crumble, fall apart and maybe never recover. Brokenness can lead us to some really dark places but so can soldiering on beyond what is healthy. Personally, my darkest nights where during times (years) of enduring, pushing through and being strong.

I would argue that the true death is not fully living life, not embracing growth — not doing the really hard things. It may be the scariest thing you do, to allow yourself to break. You might not make it, but, by golly, what if you do? What if you come out on the other side? What if you find out there are cracks in your foundation? What if your faith is not strong enough?

I would rather know that my faith is weak then to live like I am walking on egg shells afraid to be challenged.

Join me in breaking!

My homework for the week is to write out my story in third person. I am just doing bullet points of things I have endured. Pulling back the emotions, just stating facts, no names, just moments and I am allowing myself to feel for this girl. I am seeing this girls life on paper and I am not cheering her on for being resilient. I am not encouraging her and telling her she is doing a great job LIFING. I am just sitting with her (hypothetically) seeing her story on paper. Acknowledging that it was traumatic, dramatic, unjust, beautiful, joyful but hard -real hard. I am allowing myself to see my story for what it is and I am thinking about all the things I would say to someone who experienced the things I did. My words would be muffled through tears, slow but honest.

“Julyeth, you have gone through a lot and I am so grateful that you have chosen life in the midst of a lot of darkness. I am so encouraged by the hope in your eyes. I do not want to celebrate your resiliency right now. You know you are resilient; you do resiliency well, every day you wake up and do life, you are resilient. Right now, I just want to hold you; I want to hold you and say I am so sorry, baby girl. I am so sorry you were dealt these cards. I would have tossed these cards out of the pile to ensure no one had to live the life you did. Your life has been dark, hard, unspeakable. Come, sweet girl, come close. (whispers in her ear) You my dear, cheerful lover, you my friend, you are a miracle and I am so glad you are still alive. You my darling are an angel, you are of those that change the world by simply living. I do not have answers for your injustices but I do have this one answer. You get to live, Julyeth, you get to live, loudly, without knowing how to do it well. You do not have to do “life well.” Your willingness to pick up the shards of your life and endure tomorrow is beautiful. However, I see your hands and your feet, calloused and bruised, but strong and something within me KNOWS, that you do not have to carry these shards anymore. I believe you have the strength to dance over these broken pieces. Let Go, unravel, it will be an adventure, no one can guide you or tell you you what it will look like or what’s on the other side…but live, my dear, unbound. My desire for you is to not live being proud of how resilient you are but to live as a child: run wild, make really big messes, cry hard, laugh harder, LIVE FULL OF LIFE!”

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