Why I Am the Way I Am
Paulette Perhach
1.6K145

My own father was a sonuvabitch, serial adulterer, bully, and terrifying presence in my childhood, until he abandoned us for a new life — not a monster but immature and profoundly unhappy — it took him close to 60 years to become an adult, and about 40 of those until I got far enough past it all. He died 5 years after our re-acquaintance, not a beloved father but at least a man whose company I enjoyed. I envy you, tears in my eyes while I read this — my entire adult life, since the births of my children, has been centered on being present in their lives, not because I’m good but because I’m selfish and was determined to overcome the old man’s failures. I hope that I have given my kids just a fraction of what your dad gave to you.

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