There’s lot more in me than stupidity

I seek something,
I seek it with an anxious heart;
Every time I failed,
I wondered if I could again start.

Some lights at a distance,
They seem stable, yet far;
Can I have them guide me?
Can they make me shoot to the stars?

Those color pallets were expressive but the smile mysterious, 
I enjoyed the little chats that made my life less serious.

A tasteless orange felt mouthful,
An empty pack of gum built a sweet revenge,
I don’t have them now,
I feel like sitting lonely on a bench.

Being ignored kills me to death,
Being ignored chokes my breath,
I may have screwed up;
But my harmless intentions deserve apologies, if not respect.

You are not beautiful,
You are instead enigmatic;
One cannot stop by for small things,
But expect things that are platonic.

Neither I expect a haunting silence,
Nor your pity;
All I want you to know is,
There is a lot more in me than stupidity.