I think you are explaining yourself just fine. It’s a complicated subject. Keep in touch with doctors for help. Hayden Panettaire has been vocal about her depression after pregnancy so researching her story could help too. I do a lot of research on bipolar depression because two of my family members have it and other people’s stories have been really helpful at times. Depression of any kind is hard, but keeping searching for that relief. It’s out there. Its just not a black and white answer unfortunately. I still think you’re awesome.