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Alison Stevenson
Alison Stevenson

3.5K Followers

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Mar 29, 2020

Dick Pics and The Female Gaze

No time like a global pandemic to start thinking in-depth about dick pics, right? Why am I thinking about dick pics, you ask? Because I’ve lucked into starting a nice little gig for myself. One where I critique dick pics for a fee. It all started with a DM from…

Dick Pics

5 min read

Dick Pics and The Female Gaze
Dick Pics and The Female Gaze
Dick Pics

5 min read


Aug 6, 2019

Sharing a Bed Fucking Sucks

It was one of the main things I looked forward to when I fantasized about being in a committed relationship: regularly sharing a bed. I pictured myself falling asleep with someone by my side. I saw us embracing one another until the sun came up. Then I’d picture us sleeping…

Sleep

5 min read

Sharing a Bed Fucking Sucks
Sharing a Bed Fucking Sucks
Sleep

5 min read


May 1, 2019

Why Can’t You Be Nice?

A few weeks into dating my now-boyfriend, something awful happened. I cried over a case of La Croix. — A few weeks into dating my now-boyfriend, something awful (yet ultimately insightful) happened. I cried over being gifted a case of La Croix. Granted, it was my favorite flavor, but still, carbonated water should never bring a person to tears. So, why did that happen? Well, as I was gifted…

Life

5 min read

Life

5 min read


Aug 21, 2018

Catch The Fuck Up

Fact: More and more straight women are prepared to be single in perpetuity, so now it’s really up to you to figure out what you need to do. — I’ve got my assortment of vibrators, my unending list of emotionally unavailable fuckboys to hook up with now and then (when I really just need a human body on top of me), and my close friends who give me more emotional support than any man I’ve dated ever has. …

Feminism

4 min read

Feminism

4 min read


Feb 18, 2016

Here’s How to Really Get Yourself a Man!

Here’s How to Really Get Yourself a Man! Instead of: Asking, “what are we?” Do this: Stage a robbery where he has to define your relationship at gunpoint. Instead of: Explaining to him that the socially constructed standard of beauty you feel pressured to live up to is far greater than his. Do this: Eat a salad! Instead…

Dating

2 min read

Here’s How to Really Get Yourself a Man!
Here’s How to Really Get Yourself a Man!
Dating

2 min read

Alison Stevenson

Alison Stevenson

3.5K Followers

Female comedian and girl writer. Awful at being my own editor (but working on it!!!).

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