More and more of us women — eventually all women — are refusing to lower ourselves. Now, we accept the possibility of a new fate. A life where we just might have to stay single in order to be our best selves. We know who we are, what we’re worth, and what we deserve. If you can’t catch up, you’re the one wh…
You are correct, person on Facebook: there is truly no sympathy from you. No bad things will ever happen to you. You will never experience pain and suffering. Your life will always be as it is: idyllic. Continue to sprawl out on your puffy white cloud eating cotton candy and grapes from the vine as you look down on the rest of us. Rest assured, you are in excellent company!
…to include all relationships with other people, is everything. It’s not 60% of happiness, it’s 99%. Everything you think is important — success, building things, writing novels, gaining status — is important only insofar as it nourishes your current and future possible relationships.
If peanut butter could only be found in the placenta of a rare tropical bird, it would cost $1,000 per ounce. Sure, caviar tastes good, but so does peanut butter. People are irrationally attracted to that which is scarce, because scarce things function as status symbols. If you understand the elements of human behavior that are irrational and predictable, you are freed from them and can benefit from the insight.
In that way, air travel is sadly familiar, a microcosm of what happens so often as a fat person. I am watched — and judged harshly — as I try — and fail — to fit into a space that was made for someone else. I am always too big, always too much, always unacceptable. I must make myself smaller and smaller, reducing and reducing endlessly, my stubborn body resisting at every turn. Still, I am never quite small enough to make anyone else comfortable.
And we need to provide that support for all women, irrespective of color or income level. The VP at a tech company is no more entitled to maternity leave, job security, and adequate childcare than the waitress at a restaurant. It’s the price of not just allowing, but requiring, mothers to work. Which is what we do today. Wor…
Here’s what we tell women today: You not only can, but should have a career and children — because if you don’t, you’re basically a) lazy, b) weak, c) not a real woman. But also, you should do it without any support. Without government-paid maternity leave (what are you, a socialist?). Without too much childcare (because then you’re a shitty mom) or falling behind on the job (because then you’re a shitty employee — typical woman!). Without too much help from your husband (because then he’s a pussy).
We’re conditioned early on, especially as women, to value security above all else and cling on to it at all costs and it takes an exceptional sort of fearlessness to tune out the expectations of the people in your life and risk your own security, in pursuit of genuine happiness.