Happiness? or Happiness?

The past will always have a funny way of sneaking up on you. It will always happen when you least expect it to. When you don’t want it to.

*Dear Timehop app….. thank you for reminding me of my past. Present day Me, really does’t like Past Me. Thank you for showing me my past, and how much I’ve grown from it.

How do you know if you are happy?

I’m going to start off by saying I am in a happy, healthy marriage. We will celebrate our 2 year anniversary in September. I’m married to the man of my dreams and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I’m happy with my life, my family, my friends.

I used to think I was happy… but now I know better.

It was the Early Spring 2009…And the story goes as follows.. Girl meets guy… Girl thinks she’s in love. Girl is young and naive. Girl loses sight of the future she had planned for herself. Girl distances herself from those who really care about her. Girl becomes who guy wants her to be. Girl loses sight of who she is. Girl is unhappy. Girl fakes a smile everywhere she goes. Girl leaves guy. Guy begs girl to come back. Girl seeks advice from others. Girl ignores advice from others. Girl goes back. Guy treats girl the same as before. Nothing changes. Girl wants to fix guy. Girl believes she can fix guy. Girl can’t fix guy. Guy manipulates girl. Girl is unhappy. Girl fakes a smile to everyone around her. Guy makes girl believe everything that goes wrong is her fault. Guy cheats on girl. Guy makes girl believe he cheated because of her. Guy threatens girl. Girl stays with him. Guy cheats again. Girl leaves guy. Guy begs girl to come back. Guy says he has changed. Girl goes back. Girl continues to be mistreated. Girl wants to fix guy. Girl believes she can fix guy. Girl can’t fix guy because she is broken. Guy cheats on girl. Girl believes it was her fault. Girl believes guy when he says she won’t find anybody better than him. Girl believes guy when he says she doesn’t deserve anybody better than him. Girl is broken. Girl doesn’t believe in herself. Girl doesn’t know what love is anymore.

Fall of 2012… Girl finds the courage to leave guy. Girl is free. Girl cuts all ties with guy. Girl begins to find who she really is. Girl begins to find real happiness.

3 1/2 years… For 3 1/2 years, girl was emotionally abused by that guy. She was continuously told she wasn’t good enough. It took 3 1/2 years to find the courage to leave guy. It took changing her phone number multiple times and a restraining order to finally have her life free from that guy.

I want the world to know that if you are in a bad relationship, you can always get out. Verbal and emotional abuse is real and can have the lasting of effects of physical abuse in some cases. It takes real strength and courage to leave. And it takes even more strength and courage to stay gone. You are worth it. You deserve better. You will find happiness.

I’m not posting this to gain sympathy. I’m not posting this for attention. I’m not really sure why I’m posting this. I found my happiness. I’ve found my happily ever after. I’m truly happy. And I believe that others can be too.