I think the thing that people don’t realize is that not everyone is entitled to love from everyone else. Sometimes, you are legitimately not good enough to be loved by some people. That does not mean that those people are necessarily better than you, they just have their own standards. People are entitled to their own standards of what they want in a partner. If you are not willing to live up to those standards, you should find someone else.
Now, if someone is playing jokes at your expense or emotionally abusing you, that just makes them a piece of shit and not worthy of YOUR love.
I require that my partner be healthy and capable of doing the things that I want to do with them. I want to go hiking, snowboarding, and rock climbing. I want my partner to be able to keep up with me. I respect my body; I want my partner to respect hers. I reciprocate. My partner loves theater, so I go to plays and musicals. My partner loves music, so I am trying to learn how to play various instruments and to sing. Personally, I love it. I feel like if you do not feel a constant urge to improve yourself for your partner, the relationship really isn’t worth it. I don’t mean you improve yourself because you fear your partner will leave you. I mean that you should want to be the best person you can possibly be for your partner and they should be the best person they could possibly be for you.
Many people lack this drive for improvement and that’s OK. These people just need to find someone else who is equally complacent.