Comedy/War, and ‘Whiskey Tango Foxtrot’

At Camp Leatherneck, a large ‘mini-city’ neighbored by Camp Bastion in Helmand province, it was your typical safe and sunny southern Afghanistan day in 2010. I was walking by the shitters, a row of dark green porta-potties not far from where the flags were risen every day, and headed back to my wooden hard-walled and air-conditioned office. I had a lot to tackle on my to-do list I previously scribbled on hot pink post-it notes I had been specifically sent inside of a care package also containing tampons. The good kind. As in Tampax Pearl. Super.

War. Is. Hell.

In the distance I see a dark figure running toward me with velociraptor-like speed, as the sunlight reveals his face I see him soaked with concern and worry. I don’t know what to do. I don’t freeze, cause that just seems silly, but I try to convey a look of, ‘What can I do to help?’ through my black Oakley sunglasses. Sunglasses that I’m only wearing because they were issued to me, and I’m told that even if they weren’t issued to me, they were the ‘cool’ thing to wear. And man did I want to be cool.

The figure turned out to be a stocky, mustached, senior-enlisted U.S. Marine. As he zoomed passes me, loose strands of my hair around my bun move with the wind created by his speed.

He runs into a shitter. But not just any shitter, a very specific shitter. It had to be one that he had in mind, because it was way past the first available one. Perhaps he had a favorite. One with a toilet seat that he deemed was the most comfortable for the shape of his ass. Maybe it was the one that he decided after a long, hard scout mission was definitely the cleanest of all the shitters. War makes you think crazy things. You develop habits you can’t explain to keep you sane. Like my need to scribble notes on only hot pink post-its, before they were placed on a top secret map. The color contrast just makes sense!

When the Marine emerges, I can tell he’s relieved. But not the kind of relief after you survive your first stomach flu a few weeks after you arrive in country.

The kind of relief when you realize that you’ve just retrieved your M-9 pistol. The one that you left when you were taking a shit, removing it with your holster and setting it to the side to probably relieve the weight around your waist. All just to take off your pants to sit down comfortably. And now you are just so happy that not only did you save yourself from looking stupid, but you won’t be charged with losing serialized gear in Afghanistan.

He walked away with a certain bounce in his step, his weapon re-holstered at his side, and a shit-eating grin. I’m not even really sure what ‘shit-eating grin’ means, but there’s no way it does not apply to this very situation.

“Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” premiering this week is described as a Comedy/War, but it is also an amazing effort by actors Tina Fey, Martin Freeman, Christopher Abbot, Billy Bob Thornton, and Margot Robbie.

To be honest, I was a little annoyed to find out that Christopher Abbot is an American playing an Afghan interpreter, but he did it so well that I had no idea that he was Marnie’s season 1 boyfriend on ‘Girls’. I also wasn’t really sure how I felt about Margot Robbie, but the entire ensemble of this well-crafted cast held the story together with strength and genuine heart.

You see, I was a Public Affairs Officer in Afghanistan and my main role was to embed journalists from around the world with units, mainly U.S. Marine units, throughout southern Afghanistan. Some of my best life memories were from this time period, and there was something about seeing this journalist side to things. It was like a little hug from the past. (That last sentence is probably why I will never be a professional writer.)

I remember meeting journalists when they would come back from their embeds, and being jealous of their stories. They would say things to me like, “You have to get out there if you get the chance, you won’t believe it,” and I’d look at them with this happy adventurous hope, but knew deep down that in my role, I’d have to be especially assigned somewhere to really leave my strategic post to do something more tactical, and on top of that, I’m a woman. It’s just different for women over there.

Part of why I love ‘Whiskey Tango Foxtrot’ is the role they gave to Tina Fey. She is amazing, and with a script written by Fey’s long-time writing partner Robert Carlock, and based on Kim Barker’s memoir Taliban Shuffle, there was so much that could both go wrong and right with this combination. But it was right for me.

Remember all those films about being the new girl in school, and feeling alone and overwhelmed and completely out of your element because you don’t know where your next class is, or who you’re going to sit with at lunch?

So think of that, but with the brilliance of Tina Fey, and in Afghanistan, and doing something that would be extremely difficult for anyone to do.

I think I’m writing this because I sort of miss this part of my life, despite being so happy with where I am now. But I know I’m also writing this because I loved what it did for me. Fey’s character Kim Baker, showed that you can change your situation, stand up for yourself, do something crazy, not be perfect, but still be something and do something that’s pretty great.

It also shows that war can suck, is an extremely complicated factor of our history, but can also reveal things about yourself that you may have never known otherwise.

There are also of course the occasional funny running-to-a-shitter-to-get-your-weapon-back moments that will stick with you forever, because those were the moments that made being over there a bit easier.

“Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” reminded me of mine.