Something I saw on Facebook: my incoherent, disorganized thoughts.
Today, I have see maybe 4 statuses on Facebook that say, “me, too”. Then follow up with a variant of “If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assauled made their status "me too" perhaps the world will start to understand the magnitude of this problem.”
Well, I finally gave in, reluctantly. My family doesn’t know about my sexual abuse trauma or really anything of that nature. But, I believe that this should be heard, addressed. To the point where I added “Added: Copy & paste as your status. Maybe, just maybe, we can stop passivity. Maybe, just maybe, we can shed light on these horrific, unbecoming, traumatic events.”
Then, a male replies to my status saying “me too…” and it got me thinking. Maybe, just maybe, this isn’t an only female problem.
I began exploring, in my mind, other avenues, but then I found myself stopping dead in my tracks. I said to myself:
Wait. This sounds exactly like patriarchy. Men don’t want women blaming men for their wrong doings.
Why is it when women speak up against the hideous actions of men-- the way they cat-call, the way they sexualize breasts, the way they minimize rape-- it’s women’s issues with males?
On my status, a male said,
Hmm, but is it appropriate to generalize all men as aggressors or to signify a particular group of men. Identify them as sexually deviant men or any for of stronger approach verbally without casting a shadow on an entire gender?
Fair question, I suppose. Is it appropriate to generalize all men? Hmm, well, is it appropriate for men to generalize all women who are sound in their sexuality as sluts. Or is it okay for men to generalize women as pieces of ass. Or property. Or something they can control.
I’m pissed. I’m just not sure I know why. Am I pissed because what is a silly Facebook status going to achieve? Yes, I engaged, but I also want to be an advocate-- a work-in-progress. Yes, I felt empowered for one second… until a male had to add his piece. I feel like as women, when we stand up for ourselves, men can’t deal. They don’t understand that we are independently living, independently thinking beings. I think it threatens their masculinity.
Maybe not all of them. That’s unfair of me. But, most. Men have learned that “boys will be boys” to be “the man of the house” meaning they make more than their women counterparts. Their women counterparts are their to make them dinner, bear their children, so on and so forth.
This line of thinking is dangerous. This line of thinking does not help equality, though people want to believe males and females are equals, despite the evidence that proves otherwise. Patriarchy.
It should be a thing in the past. Yet, here we are. Still fighting to the death.
Yet, here we are, still fighting for passivity to become non-existent. For equality to actually mean equality.
As I close this word vomit post, I just feel like this needs to be said.