On Second Thought: Being a Creative but Needing That Damn Job

I always say that I am thankful for my job. Well, let me say this instead: I am thankful that I have a job. One of my character flaws is that I will drop everything that I love…just to make sure that I do not have to ask anyone for help. The stars have deemed me a workaholic and I have embraced it wholeheartedly. However, the issue comes when I’m at my desk and the temptation creeps up in my spirit to write. My to-do list at the office becomes engulfed in random doodles. I have a tab on Google chrome opened to my blog, a blank Microsoft Word page open. My spidey senses know when anyone is creeping up behind me, and I always have the mouse on the minimize button. My tab switching game is flawless. I constantly think to myself: “Is this what Clark Kent felt like?”

At this point I am the only one who will not admit to being out of place. I love my coworkers because they have become my friends. I was blessed to be placed in an office full of Black women who understand that codeswitching is just as important as being bilingual. They also know that our creativity is stifled but we are caught up in the “gotta do what we gotta do in the meantime” and “My 9 to 5 is going to fund my 5 to 9 until it switches.” Yeah right. When I get off of work, I sleep. Or, if I don’t sleep, I scroll through my social media and compare myself and then catch an…