A Safe Place of Healing
Every Sunday it’s become a tradition that I tweet my Pastor, Chad, and reflect upon what spoke to me most about the sermon. Each Sunday he tweets me back with some more words of wisdom, sometimes we get into theoretical conversation and other times he sends me an encouraging statement to reflect upon.
This morning, in particular, it was not only the sermon, but the place where the sermon was held. Six months ago I was working for a local theatre company and the situation I was in was not very desirable or healthy. I was unhappy and I was allowing a lot of people steal my joy. Why? I loved theatre, I spent a decade in theatre, when you spent a decade in a career, time has been invested and your heart has been poured into it. I lost heart. I was on a ski slope going down hill, but I don’t ski, I don’t know the proper way to stop, and I was not going to stop until I ran into something hard. Really hard! Once I ran into that hard object, I realized it was best for myself and all parties if I departed. I had zero breathing room. I contemplated hurting myself as I felt everything I worked for was gone. I contemplated running away to where no one would know who I was and start over again in a different City. I applied for jobs in Vegas and nothing came through. A lot of anger was built up on all sides (I must add it is a good thing my pastor is my twitter follower or a social media war would have been waged) but I chose to take the high route. I filled up my newly empty schedule with yoga, spinning class, and volunteering at church. I spent time rekindling old friendships, having coffee with friends who offered me good advice and finally I applied for a management job at a hotel. Hotel management was a career I could never have if I was a freelance theatre artist! The schedules conflicted with each other immensely. I always felt like a fish out of water in theatre and I was losing oxygen quickly.
“I wish I’d have the courage to live true to myself, not the life other had expected of me.” — Andy Stanley
Six months ago RockCity opened a new campus right behind the theatre I use to work at. For months I avoided this new campus, we had a team night, and I quickly parked and ran into the building nervously that I would be seen by my theatrical persecutors. That particular night I realized that ironically God brought me to this new place right behind the theatre to revive my spirit and provide me a building of healing. Every Sunday I have begun to make it a point to not run from the Short North. Whenever I walk into Rock City’s Short North Campus I am greeted by positive and happy people who accept me as a person. There is no need to prove anything as I had to in the building in front of the Church. No need to fear of a contract not being renewed or having any contract held over my head. There are no contracts held over your head with God and there should never be any fear.
Sometimes God leads us in directions we least expect. A year ago the building behind was a meeting place for others once or twice a week. Often RockCity would host their Team Night’s at The Garden Church. A year ago the building in front I was on a treadmill of being burdened by many projects and balancing many personalities. I was dangerously attempting to please others and begged to be accepted within the theatre community. I would go out to clubs and perhaps do things that were against my character. I yearned to fit in and be accepted in their group. A year ago I went to see a movie, I snuck out of the movie and attended a Christmas Eve service instead. I don’t know what is going on and often I don’t feel worthy to be apart of any of this, however, as Pastor Chad told me today God is preparing me for what is next. Whatever that is .. but I’m sure when it’s time I’ll be ready! Are we ever ready when the call comes? I hope I am and I know I have some great guides along the way who will teach me how to ski and pass the finish line without pain and fear.