I identify with a lot of things on this list, but I’ve used engineering to begin moving past my anxiety, and some readings that I’ve used to apply to situations that induce anxiety for me. A lot of things that you listed could be thought of “events that happened” but aren’t necessarily the events that are going to be all inclusive of defining you. Most of my anxiety comes from trying to meet others expectations of myself instead of meeting my own, and measuring myself against others, rather than my own progress. I was doing things to appease the rat race and not for myself, and in turn never made myself happy or learned to love myself at all.
It’s okay to not eat the salad sometimes when the steak looks juicier.
It’s okay to need a break from kids. Or from being the perfect kid.
It’s okay to be afraid of women, we can be a bit crazy!
It’s okay to not always want to be the nice guy — look what it does to Superman!
Your marriage ended, it didn’t fail. Relationships are always evolving.
You are being honest with yourself today, but this list may change later. Maybe you get an A in class, are you a good student then? Maybe your kid says that they love you, are you a good parent that day? Every day a new set of circumstances defines us, but only for that day.
But….When you don’t eat that salad though, you ARE in fact exemplifying self-acceptance, simply because you are not making an effort to change for the otherwise. You are accepting the fact that you simply aren’t the salad guy. You are proving your words through your actions and that is the transactional difference between self-awareness and self-acceptance. You made yourself aware of it in this list, you accept it through your actions. So what now? Do you order the salad? And order it again? Or do you just get the burger?
Remember, the man of steel is able to bend, flex, and change under different levels of fuego and pressure, but only bend — steel is worthless if it bends so far as to break.