We Are What We Think

How Our Addictions Are Fed by Misperception

Katie Leasor
Sep 3, 2018 · 5 min read

I told the blonde haired 20-something-year-old Uber driver about our family’s epic July 4th weekend. Recounting all the beers we drank while dancing the night away, it was soon her turn to tell me about life as a former heroin addict.

The conversation came up by her talking first about life with her boyfriend in NJ — and then she started talking about her recent recovery. She was two years clean this July she said with pride.

When I asked how, she said simply that she just was into partying. What was once only drinking and smoking evolved into taking painkillers with her boyfriend. Then the painkillers stopped working for them, so they moved onto blue bars (Xanax), Oxycotin, then eventually she found herself snorting up heroin. And when that stopped working, they shot it up.

My heart went out to her and all the other folks silently suffering from opioid addiction.

In my home state of New Jersey, in the United States, and throughout the world, the addiction to opioids is rampant and deadly.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), overdose deaths contribute to between roughly a third and a half of drug-related deaths. Almost every one of these overdoses are attributable to opioids — witnessed overdoses on opioids among drug users is about 70 percent. And though there are effective treatments for opioid dependence, less than 10 percent of people who need such treatment are receiving it. This kind of addiction is so hard to fight.

In the Alcoholics Anonymous twelve step program, addiction is defined as “a physical allergy linked to a mental obsession rooted in a spiritual malady.” And yogic philosophy also believes addiction is cerebral most closely associated with the term Avidya or the root of all suffering. Addiction due to a misuse of senses and when intellect fails us, literally called misperception. It’s when we willingly ignoring our internal senses telling us what is Sattvic or “right”

Since addiction exists in the mind, a good place to start understanding it is by looking at the addiction cycle. This cycle begins when an individual is exposed to negative mental patterns and behaviors as demonstrated by their parents, teachers or peers. Violence, dishonesty, or sever criticism can contributed to negative thoughts like anger, shame, guilt and overall discontentment with life. Once these individuals are conditioned in negative thinking, they ingest alcohol, drugs, or both and feel instant bliss because they transcend their current state. They are instantly given relief from their conscious or unconscious suffering.

But sometimes it gets worse

Prolonged abuse can lead to an increasingly addiction-centered life, and most addicts will feel guilty and try to hide behavior. The worse it gets; friends and family can try to help but usually the addict at this point is incapable of processing feedback or modifying their behavior. As the irresponsible behavior and dishonesty increases, so do feelings of shame and guilt. And overtime the addict becomes more isolated, angry, and hopeless while concurrently developing a tolerance and need more of the substance to even feel the joy they felt before. Like my Uberx driver, she evolved from a user, to abuser, to a full blown addict.

How you fool yourself

Addiction is mental, and the addict’s denial and delusion contributes to an inability to grow learning from life experiences. When they only find excuses, the addict cannot grow or move forward. Being in this kind of delusion is like when the individual clings with absolute certainly to something based on false evidence. For example, they could say things like, “I’ve tried to stop drinking twelve times but this time it’s different”. If the definition of insanity is doing the same over and over and expecting a different result, the addict is acting a bit insane.

These elements together are what they call in the Yoga Sutras, as avidya. Sutra II.5 defines avidya as, “mistaking the impermanent for the permanent, the unclean for the clean, the painful for the pleasurable, and the unconscious for the conscious.” This is the very definition of an addict, who literally dies trying to sustain an impermanent high, defending their habits and confusing the pain of addiction for pleasure. They are also continuously misperceiving unconscious indulgences for conscious choice.

According to Pantajali, with avidya, misperception is the root of all human suffering (also called duhkha) and the main obstacle for achieving our goals. And the more exaggerated the patterns, the easier it is for us to misperceive the suffering it creates. This isn’t useful information for just heroin addicts, we’re all facing addictions that will impact us during our lives.

What to do and how yoga can help

There are no direct answers to facing addiction but there are ideas and areas of focus that can help:

1. Direct attention without wavering. Single minded focus (eka grata) quiets the mind and allows for us to fully absorb an emotionally rich connection between our innermost self and what we’re focusing on. Whether it’s a moment when you feel in love with nature, a pet, or a loved one, those small moments of focus are important. Yoga and meditation help with this a lot!

2. Align your life to your values. We’ve faced conflict since the day we were born. But according to yoga, our core consciousness that is our unbiased observer, knows what’s best for us. By using our inner intelligence, we can guide ourselves towards more joy and positivity. When we do so, we will find a way home to our own personality and living a life in tune with our values. The greatest potential for addictive behavior exists whenever we are living a lie, conforming to meet others’ expectations, or we’re struggling with the idea that it’s not okay to want whatever it is we want.

3. Be content and smile. When we get aligned with our own life, we will experience more joy. Conversely when our behavior conflicts with our values, we experience more suffering. Deeply uncomfortable feelings require release — but when we release them, we can be more content.

Long term sobriety is contingent on clarifying our values through meditation or practicing 12 steps, and by living a life of rigorous honesty and integrity. It’s only when we’re consistently able to choose, focus and sustain our attention that we can experience lasting joy. We can be fully free of bad habits and unhealthy patterns to truly flourish.

Written by

Global comms @IBM + 500 RYT, yoga teacher. #techforgood believer. Writing here on (trying to) mindfully balance living in modern chaos. Thoughts=mine.

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