Realizing Your Way of Change and “Betterness”
Wishes come true. Don’t let mental illness stop your fairy godmother.

In Cinderella we learn that dreams do come true. Wishes can be granted. Don’t get me wrong, I am a total believer but you get what you put into it. As I have written before, I have struggled a lot with body image. But what gets me is that I was too busy comparing and bawling over the fact that I wasn’t what I thought was considered “desirable” to do anything about it.
Instead, I would flounder with potato chips in one hand and a spoon in the other to dish up my ice cream. One summer when I was about 14 my family and I went on a lot of hikes. A ploy to help me lose weight. I was in my prime as an 8th grader. (Okay if you believe that then I have some beach front property for sale in Arizona you might be interested in.) I hurt, I couldn’t breathe and was a full pain in the neck complainer. I think I rivaled a sitting donkey.
Who wants to do this walk in nature thing when I could sit at home being a couch potato? I am not going to lie but sitting on my bum seemed way more appealing back in the day. I am so grateful that I have aged beautifully and don’t mind hiking anymore. (Things really do sweeten with age.)
As I look back on all that has happened to me (oh we haven’t even scratched the surface, honey) I am in awe of how much my mental problems, depression and anxiety, held me back. Got in the way of me trying or wanting to be happy. It also didn’t exactly help that I was doggone tired all the time.
It got in the way of me trying to improve myself physically. I would watch the other kids climb the rope in elementary school and think, “I could never do that.” Unfortunately, when it was my turn, I became more dejected since all I could do was grab the rope, jump 5 inches, hold on for 2 seconds and fall back down on the mat. Never did get an A in PE.
There has been a lot of wishing as I have struggled with mental illness. (I wish this and that,) but then on the flip side I didn’t do anything. I didn’t play basketball in junior high and high school because I was too anxiety ridden and freaked out that I wouldn’t do well.
Just because you are struggling with depression and anxiety doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to live your life the way you want too. I have some regrets about what I didn’t do because I didn’t recognize that I needed professional help get my mental problems in check. I wish that I (with the help of my parents) would have done something, but nobody knew what to do.
It’s interesting to look back at how things once were now when everything (anxiety and depression) are under control. I do have those moments of “oh my gosh. I can’t do that”, something that I have told myself for 150 million years. But guess what? Now I have the ability to think, “Ehh why not? What do I have to lose? Look ridiculous? Ehhh, who cares. It will be fun.” I have never thought that way in my life up till now, and it’s amazing.
Mental illnesses like depression and anxiety don’t have to keep you from “making your wishes come true.” If you want to play basketball, play basketball. If you want to climb the rope, figure out how to do and pretend you’re Tris Prior. (You know how she sneaks off to train at unholy hours of the night so she will be most improved. That was shout out to all Divergent fans.)
Love your life; do what you wish and help your fairy godmother out. (She works hard for you!) Don’t let your mental illness rule you to regret.

