Seeing Through, Persevering Through Mental Illness: A Personal Story
The art of pushing through what you never thought possible.

To begin, I would like to introduce to you the word: Sisu. It is a Finnish term that really doesn’t translate into English. However, here are some different descriptions.
“Sisu begins where perseverance and grit end. It is the ‘second wind’ of mental toughness, after the individual has reached the limits of their observed mental or physical capacities.”
Above and Beyond Perseverance (2013)
Emilia Lahti
‘Sisu’- (noun) pronunciation (see-suu)
Extraordinary determination, courage and resoluteness in the face of extreme adversity. An action mindset which enables individuals to see beyond their present limitations and into what might be. Taking actions against the odds and reaching beyond observed capacities. An integral element of Finnish culture, and also a universal capacity for which the potential exists within all individuals.”
Sisu is the ability and the desire to keep going no matter what. You can forget whatever preconceived notions you have about your limitations. You are you and you are capable of anything. Healing from mental illness is an active process that can unlock your potential of having a life that you never dreamed of having.
Whoa now that was kind of a serious beginning! Hey ya’ll! My name is Kajsa and no I am not a Finn. I am a half Swede: raised in a very Swedish home (thanks, Mom). Thank goodness, I have my American father to keep us grounded in the States, Oregon to be precise.
For those of you who completely skipped over, stared at, or butchered my name in your head (you know who you are) you pronounce it thus ‘Ka-eye-sa’. Can you imagine all the ways people have come up with to try to say it? It gets better every time. Though I am in my mid-twenties, people are STILL coming up with new pronunciations! I LOVE IT! People can be so creative.
I have been through the ringer.
Now, I don’t want to sound like a victim or whine, but I have been through a lot of pain, both mentally and physically. I swear (and I am not a swearing person), it has just been thing after thing after thing. Consequently, I have a lot of stories to tell. I’ll tell you one thing… I feel a lot older than I am!
A little bit more about myself: I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints, or LDS for short. I served a full-time mission for eighteen months in Belgium and the Netherlands while struggling with both mental and physical problems. I managed to stick to my guns and finish strong! There was a lot of pain and heartache but I MADE it! I am very strong in my faith which has provided hope as to face all my demons in the closet (which might be the reason I sleep with the doors closed?).
I have many loved ones who have been with me through thick and thin, the clear and murky. They are encouraging me to write my story and my knowledge that I have collected fighting mental illness for as long as I can remember.
I have also been diagnosed with sleep apnea. It is believed that I have had this since I started puberty when everything else goes wacko. We believe (me and my professional health crew) that sleep apnea is the root of all evil and my haunting mental problems.
I have heard time and time again that “it’s all in your head, just snap out of it!” No. That is not what we are about and it’s WRONG! There is a whole lot more to having depression and other mental problems. It is a real medical condition that we can’t see but we feel.
I am a strong believer that it doesn’t matter what religion you are, what you believe in, who you are or what you are. When it comes to mental health. It is so important we understand together the idea of “I can be okay. I can be happy and do what makes me happy without the heavy darkness chasing me day and night.”
There is nothing to be ashamed of. If there were, then I would most certainly not be writing this blog! One must recognize the problem and work on getting it treated. I kept at it and found out that the real reason behind my tribulations and it was because I wasn’t really sleeping! You might be surprised to find out there’s another medical problem triggering mental difficulties. If you had diabetes you would go learn how to take care of it right? I sure hope you would!
In future posts I will further enlighten how it all went down and how finding the answer — sleep apnea — has saved my life. My mind wasn’t mine and it wasn’t allowing me reach my true potential. It casted a huge dark tint on everything and everyone in my life. Having mental illness can be a life sentence, but it doesn’t have to be. There is hope, there are answers and there can be relief.
I have experienced ‘sisu’. There have been a lot of waterworks and gnashing of teeth to be able to type these things. On my keyboard, listening to good old Carrie Underwood. I have reached my limit. But, I never let that stop me from accomplishing the things that I wanted to accomplish, do that things that I want to do. Thus here I am willing to tell stories and share my musings. Experiences that led to answers, resulting in simply being happy. Happiness is something we all deserve simply because we are human.

