If we base our expectations on what we want then we are often disappointed because of the actions of others.
There are a great many men that exhibit this behavior. Telling your story is a very good step in correcting the behavior. If nobody says it (or writes about it) then how can any change happen?
I have had relationships develop at work, I met my wife at a work related party - we bonded over chaos theory. I have also had some very close professional relationships with women. They were universally because of our mutual respect for each other and strictly about our work. Sadly this was decades ago, so your story frustrates me.
If a woman asks me today how she should approach a meeting such as this. It pains me, but I would advise caution. If it looks like a date. Leave.