Nightcap Recap

Time is passing and soon we will all be dead. First, I thought I would do a fun recap of the adventures I have had with friend dates thus far!

In a previous post, I told you that I have been using BumbleBFF to meet people. This is true. I have also met a couple of people through mutual friends (one friend from college and one friend from Chicago/work). So there are about 4 separate events to chronicle here. I’ll do them all at once in order to attempt to keep my stories concise. This post might end up being a bit longer — apologies in advance.

#1 Natasha (fake name, BumbleBFF). Natasha was pretty cool. We met through BumbleBFF because she messaged me and said that she ALSO likes tattoos and rockets (my profile basically just says that I like electric cars, rockets, tattoos, comics, etc. I felt it was good to be up front about these things). She shared a photo of a really cool Saturn V tattoo she has on the back of her arm and I shared a photo of the Pioneer Plaque tattoo on my thigh (very scandalous to show someone a picture of my penis in the first correspondence, I know). After a little back and forth, we decided that we had a lot of mutual interests and should just hang out. I thought this was good because, like, how much back and forth can you have on a friend-finding app before you just decide to meet?

Apparently people love my neighborhood. Almost everyone I have spoken to thus far has been like, “Oh, you live in B? I LOVE B! I’ll meet you there.” So we decided that Natasha would come over to my place and we could hang out on my roof top and have snacks/drinks for pretty cheap. (Full disclosure: I am on medicine that restricts how much I can drink, so basically one drink is good for me and I also have had eating issues over the past year which make it really hard to go out to eat in restaurants ESPECIALLY with strangers, so this was a perfect way for my to hide my social ineptitude.) I’ll admit I felt weird about inviting a stranger to my home, but I figured it was ok since we were going to the roof and not to my actual apartment. I checked in with the leasing manager in my building and got permission to let Natasha bring her dog (my building is pet-friendly, especially the rooftop, where there is an area where dogs can go to the bathroom, run off leash, etc.) and we hung out on the roof, eating pretzel chips and drinking. Things went well. We had a surprising amount in common, from our general interests, to both growing up in sort of fucked up families, to the sweatiness of our boyfriends (actually, she is married, even though she is younger than I am) — like almost an alarming amount in common. Is that a weird thing to be concerned about? At some point I started to feel like “Are you just agreeing with me and pretending your life is like mine, or are we really soul mates?” But I feel like she brought some of the stuff up first, so maybe we really are in line on some of these things.

She stayed later than I thought she would and got a ride home. We both agreed that we had a good time and should do something again in the near future. I heard from her via text a few times and then she went on vacation until the middle of this upcoming week, so we’ll see if she gets in contact with me when she returns. I think it would be good to hang out with her again — she seemed fun, even though she was a few years younger and married (2 obstacles that are not insurmountable, but just make for a slightly different dynamic). Well, I guess at this point I have a lot of friends who are married. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Addendum: I wanted to add this because I thought it potentially relevant for the future. I texted Natasha on the evening of a SpaceX launch (and LANDING — HELL YEAH BABY) to tell her that was happening and she could watch it online if she wanted to. Her response was something along the lines of “Cool, I’ll watch it later. I’m watching tv right now.” and that sort of turned me off. I mean, do you love space or don’t you?? I’ll try to let it go. But it WILL be remembered.

#2 Donnie and Mark (fake names, I decided I wanted to name them after the Wahlbergs). Donnie and Mark are a couple of guys to whom I was introduced via the internet before moving to Seattle. Well, technically just Donnie. Mark is his partner and he ended up joining in on the coffee-getting goodness. Donnie is a mutual friend of a friend with whom I work at my current job (though he is really more a friend of this friend’s wife, who is definitely a cool lady, so I figured this guy had to be awesome). Donnie had been as helpful as one can be in giving advice about moving to Seattle before we actually made our move. We chatted a few times via Facebook and email, then said that once I was finally out in Seattle, we should meet up face-to-face. We met at the coffee shop that is basically in my apartment building (Can I get any lazier? Not really. But it’s a good coffee shop.) and Donnie was exactly as he presented himself online: adorable, funny, intelligent, and witty. I think we really hit it off talking about working on websites, comics, and trying to convince our mutual friend (and their new baby) to move to Seattle. In the meantime, this was really a double date. Randy had joined for the coffee funtimes and, as it turns out, hit it off with Mark as they chatted about a book about MATH that Mark was reading (OH MY GOD), videogames, and other stuff I don’t really care about but that Randy is also really into. That’s great. I couldn’t help but be distracted by their conversation at times and listen in (this goes back to something I said in a previous post about groups of 4 where the conversation splits into 2 and 2), but it seemed like they were getting on quite well, while Donnie and I were also managing to keep up a conversation (GO ME, I can keep a conversation on course). We talked for a while and then Randy said he had to do laundry before going to work that day, so we had to get going. BUZZKILL, RANDY. But it was a good time to wrap it up and we ended by saying we should get together again, either at their condo to grill on the rooftop or some other similar activity. It went well.

#3 Monica (again, name not real). Monica was introduced to me by a friend from college who is going through a pretty similar life situation right now. My friend, previously alluded to as E, was also the person who suggested BumbleBFF. She knew Monica from home and thought we would get along well, based on our mutual interests. We connected via email and I was nervous that she wouldn’t be too stoked about meeting a new person. As it turns out, Monica was really excited because she had moved to Seattle about 3 years ago and had been in pretty much the same situation I am in currently re: work, friends, loneliness, etc. This also excited me, because I thought maybe she would have some sage wisdom for me, or at least want to take me on as her protégé (because she felt bad for me). We talked a lot about her current plans (and actions!) of going back to school to become an Astrophysicist (cool!) and how that is really similar to what Randy is trying to do. She gave some good advice about taking general classes (like Math classes) at community college, but going to a good school for more important ones (like Physics), as you would be likely to get a better understanding of the subject. She mentioned that she has a boyfriend who is a tech writer and just basically seemed like an overall cool person. Maybe too cool to be friends with me? She seemed like her life is just the busiest thing ever, but still thought it would be cool to hang out again. Last Saturday, she invited me to the bookstore where she works for the midnight release party for the new Harry Potter book/play/moneymaking machine. I told her we would definitely go, but then Randy and I ended up hiking that day at Mt. Rainier. Instead of the 20-minute hike we intended, we did a 2-hour hike (ALL UPHILL ON THIS DAMN VOLCANO MOUNTAIN) and I almost died. I honestly thought I was going to die. I took a picture of a place I thought would be a good burial site. People thought this was a funny ha-ha joke, but in reality, I thought it would be a good place to put my body when I inevitably died. On the way home, I realized there was no way we would be going to that book release party and I texted Monica to let her know the situation but to say that I would really like to hang out again when she was free next. She texted me the next day saying the party was really crazy and she probably wouldn’t have gotten to hang out with us much anyway, so it was fine. She suggested hanging out again (in my neighborhood, JEEZ!) and I suggested a place that was actually suggested to me by another BumbleBFF contact (oops — it seemed so cool, though!). She said she had heard of it but had never been and we are going tomorrow!

#4 Donnie and Mark Second Date. Things went well with Donnie and Mark and they had even texted me one evening for an impromptu “dinner and movie hangout,” to go see the new Ghostbusters remake, but Randy had just left for work and I have too much social anxiety to try to venture to another neighborhood on my own yet. I declined, but said I would love to take a raincheck for another time. Either within that conversation (text) or shortly thereafter, Donnie suggested we go see Swiss Army Man together soon (YES). I love Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe, so I was in. 200% We went to a theater that was in another neighborhood and the way the theater works (it’s a little fancy), they don’t release their showtimes until a couple of days in advance and then you buy your seats ahead of time. Once I saw the available showtimes for the day we agreed on, I asked Donnie if he wanted to go at (the only time that would work for us) and he agreed! We went to the movie, then drove back to our neighborhood (not actually that odd in this case, since we live in the same neighborhood) to get a drink. We went to a local bar about 20 feet from our apartment building that Randy and I had been meaning to check out (LAZY!). It turned out to be a little noisier and more cramped than what we were hoping for, but we stayed for a drink and had some more good conversation before Donnie and Mark took their leave. Donnie has since been trying to help me with references at the company where he works — let’s call it The Nile. ANYWAY.

So far these are the dates. Oh yeah and then the time I saw a girl I had been chatting with through BumbleBFF — let’s call her Jess — at the Renegade Craft Fair. I’m considering this just a “Run By Fruiting,” to use a favorite term from a favorite movie. She had told me she would be there and said I should definitely go and stop by. She said she would be really busy for the next few weeks, but that she would be interested in hanging out after that. She then suggested an expensive (but fun) sounding succulent planting/wine drinking event thing she was doing with a group of people that I just couldn’t afford at the time. We went to the Renegade Craft Fair (because it is one of the greatest loves of my life) and I freaked out when I recognized this girl from BumbleBFF (now I feel like I know the feeling many of my male friends who use OKCupid have told me about when our waitress is someone they matched with online) and asked Randy if I should introduce myself. He said I should but the only problem was that I could NOT remember her name and the BumbleBFF app was not loading! EMERGENCY! I tried to look at her business cards, but there were only initials and her business name (of course), so instead I just said “Hey! We met through Bumble. I’m Kaylie.” and introduced Randy…hoping she would introduce herself. Nope. But that’s okay. I mean. She didn’t like, ignore him, but she also didn’t say “Hi, I’m Jess.” So we chatted for a moment (mostly about Renegade) and then said we should hang out sometime when her schedule clears up. She said she would be pretty free soon. Maybe I should message her again on Bumble? Or text her? She did give me her phone number through the app. I’m not sure how enthusiastic I feel about this one, but she is the one who suggested the cool-seeming bar I am going to with Monica tomorrow night. Whoops. She does seem like a cool person, but I am afraid I would have to be the one to put the effort into the friendship.

That’s it for now. Other than these dates, I have been working from home and furiously trying to network and at least get some kind of INTERVIEWS for jobs in Seattle. I’m honestly starting to get a little scared that I won’t get a job and Randy & I will end up homeless on the streets. I hope that doesn’t happen. Our apartment is nice. I would like a job, I really would. I also feel like not having a job is all I can talk about right now and 1. That is a boring conversation 2. It’s somewhat exhausting to hear everyone’s suggestions on what to apply for and how to go about it (except if you were the one who tried to give me advice, dear reader, in which case, your suggestions are the best and I value your opinion wholeheartedly).

I’ll update again tomorrow after my second date with Monica! Fingers crossed that we can talk about something other than my job search.