Don’t Just Use Your Eyes to See People (Fear Challenge: Day 1)

Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.
— Pope John XXXIII

I invited someone over yesterday I had no clue was pretty much homeless. Puts things into perspective doesn’t it?

I met her a couple weeks ago at an interesting event put on by the group Consciousness Hacking. I’m very picky about the events I go to — I went from a person who said “Yes” to too many things, to a person who guards her schedule like her life depends on it — except for the moments I get carried away… It was an interesting evening, but it wasn’t until the end when I met Sharda (no, that’s not her real name, I gotta protect her identity you know :P), that I realized why I had come to the event. If I go to an event, my aim is to meet someone I can make a meaningful connection with, if I do, then the evening will have been well worth it. Finding good people, the right people, is something I hold very precious — that, and not wasting time. We can solve problems in our sleep you know ^_^

That evening, when I was introduced to her, we simply looked at each other and started laughing hysterically. We were like two crazy people. We’ve all had moments in our life where we meet someone for the first time — but it feels like you’ve already known them from before. That was what meeting Sharda felt like.

The first words out of her mouth were, “You have dragon energy.” My eyes grew round like saucers because I had been communing with dragons by researching them all week. I may be a weird broad, but I never do anything without reason. Between more fits of laughter, fascinating conversation, and 2 missed Uber cars, I had made a new friend.

I invited Sharda over and we ended up spending a day together. We covered everything from her past experiences to where she is now. In some ways, I would have made a good spy or interrogator because people usually spill their deepest darkest secrets to me. Sharda was unlike anyone I’d ever met. She is this amazing blend of different layers and textures. One of the things I love best is discovering and understanding people. People are like jeweled snowflakes to me - beautiful, multi-faceted, layered, with no two being alike. I’m also a sucker for complexity ^_^

It became apparent that Sharda had had a very difficult and tumultuous life. One could see the struggles she’d had and was going through. But throughout the whole time I spent with her, she had something a lot of people didn’t have — a clear awareness of what had happened to her along with integrity. She did not make excuses about her past and she understood clearly where things had gone south. Even though life had worn her down, I could see a strong heart and fighting spirit.

Sometimes, you just need one person to see you — really see you as you are. It can validate and affirm who you are. We all need it. We all get a little lost at times, which is why having some feedback from the right source is so valuable. Notice I said the right source — not all feedback is equal. You want it from someone who genuinely cares and can see clearly. What’s even better is if you can do this for someone else as well— see them for more than where they are. To do this, you cannot just use your eyes and ears — you have to use your heart to look at someone. If you practice this, you may be surprised by what you find.

At the end of the day, I realized some things about Sharda I don’t think she sees in herself. Sharda not only has a clear and sharp mind, which is a sign of strong intellect, but the potential to excel in many disparate areas. Most of us never find or see our full potential because we don’t know ourselves as well as we think. Some things are obvious while other things are not. We are also clouded by other people’s judgement — not to mention the biggest culprit — our own judgement of ourselves. At the end of the day, that’s the one that really counts.

Take a good look at the people you interact with every day. Do you see them? Really see them? Can you see them for more than where they are at?

What I want to tell Sharda is that the past doesn’t matter any more. The past only has power over us if we allow it. What matters is what happens here on out. She is a young lady with a good heart, who has a whole life of possibilities before her. It is never ever too late — and I sincerely hope she can see even a fraction of the brilliance I see in her.

Sharda also reminded me of the things in my life I need to be grateful for. Many of the things I worry about are not as important when taking a broader perspective. Keep an eye on what’s truly important. Keep fighting the good fight and we will get there one day. Most people give up before they get to where they want to be. It takes dedication, hard work and a clear view of where you’re going.

LET’S KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT!

P.S. Thank you so much for reading! My sincere wish is for you to get something of value — whether it be inspiration, encouragement, or to think more deeply about a topic that’s close to your heart. If there is a topic you’d like me to cover, please leave me a comment. I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback. If you enjoyed it, please like it and share!

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