Bachelor Pad Series — How To Make a Woman Comfortable in your Home
First impressions are everything and it starts at the front door.
I’ve tapped into the woman’s mindset and I’m giving you the modern secrets on how to make a woman feel comfortable in your home. If you are following this series, I will take you room by room to tell you what every guys needs to know to win over your date.
Whether or not your date has arrived at your front door or has come up for a night cap after a date, all these things are the same. Expert level will allow you to do these even when inebriated. Routine, even in your worst moments, will be a life saver.
So Congratulations, you brought a girl to your place!! Give yourself a pat on the back, that was hard to achieve.
Here are the steps on how to make a woman comfortable in your Entry Way.
First rule of thumb is: Always act like a gentleman.
That means be courteous, kind and respectful. If someone is coming to your place for the first time, meet them outside and then guide them in. Don’t forget to smile, you’re happy to see them!
Change your mindset: Your house, your rules
This doesn’t mean be a dick-tator (yup, I said it). This means that from the moment someone steps in your home, this is your space and you have control of your environment. Do not give a house tour, you are changing the dynamics of control in your space from you to her. You can see the reasons why here.
Follow the leader
Anyone, man or woman, will always innately follow your lead when entering your home. It’s natural, you are the leader. If you are going into your home together, you should be the first one inside your home. Open the door, walk inside and then hold the door open for your lady to walk inside. Don’t make me squeeze by you and under your arm while your holding the door open for me on the outside.
Keys, Phone, Wallet
Whatever you want a woman to do, lead by example. When you walk in the house, immediately take off your shoes, and take out your phone, wallet and keys and set them aside. Use your entry way as drop zone for all the necessities. This is what an entry/console table is for. Have a bowl for you to empty your pockets when you walk in the door. You’ll never lose your keys again. If you have roommates — guide her to your room first and then do the following steps. Having a special place for your keys, wallet, phone that isn’t your bed or nightstand, will be so helpful in the future.
Take off your shoes
Step one upon entering your home is to take off your shoes. This is not only the cleanest option, but allows the mindset that going barefoot in your home is allowing her to feel at home. Lead by example and start to take off your shoes first. Then politely say, “Do you mind if you take off your shoes?” or “I like to try to keep the carpet clean …” Super simple. No one will say no.
Take her jacket
Unless it’s a million degrees in the middle of summer then, of course, she won’t have a jacket and you can skip this step. In all other cases, your hands should be free at this moment, and just as she has finished taking her shoes off, ask if you can take her coat. As you are taking off her coat, give her a compliment. About anything, even if your lying. “nice shoes/hair/you look pretty today”.
If you don’t have a coat closet, buy a coat stand!! Trust me, Taking her coat is important for the next step because if she takes off her jacket, she will have to take her purse off her shoulder.
An option for small studios/apartments is a wall mounted coat hanger similiar to this link Here.
The entry way is the best place for all of your stuff to collect, guy or girl. Having a table, credenza or even a bench right next to your front door will work wonders! This is one of those things you don’t really think about adding, but is the most useful and classy things to add to your entry way. Click here & here. *not affiliates, just helping you google search.
A Woman’s Purse: More valuable than anything you own.
Getting a girl to keep her purse at the front door is your main goal.
We all need somewhere to put our personal items when we walk in the door as discussed earlier, but the reason you want to have a place for your stuff is so that she also has a place for her stuff. All the steps prior were building blocks for her to follow your lead and then be comfortable to due this crazy thing!
The psychology behind leaving her purse at the door is essential to building her trust in you. It allows her to forget about her obligations, feel at home and erase the possibility of leaving your apartment earlier. She wants her purse to be safe and she will always want it within a direct line of sight. Having her purse in direct line of sight is B-A-D.
When a woman comes over she may set her purse down on the table, or the counter or the floor or the couch… she’s more than likely going to move her purse later on because it’s in the way. If it’s not in the way and it is in her direct line of sight she is going to be constantly looking at it.
If she has to move or look at her purse she’s going to think about leaving.
When she thinks about her purse, it is a reminder that she is not at her house, that she is at your home, and eventually she will have to leave. Each time she looks at that purse she is deciding when that time is going to be.
Not only that, but if she left her cell phone in her purse she will be tempted to look at it, check the time, etc etc… Basically she is distracted by her purse and is not concentrated on you. The goal is for you to be the main event, the spotlight and the more attention that you get, the more time you’ll have to woo her. Yes, your woo-ing. Get over it.
How to get a woman to leave her purse at the door:
This will be 100% determined by two things 1) her trust in you and 2) how big the purse is. The bigger the purse, the easier it is to leave, the smaller the purse, the harder it is.
While taking off her coat she will automatically have to take her purse off her shoulder. In this process, you’re not only being a gentleman, but you’re also taking the lead. Once she takes off her purse, help her with her jacket and give a compliment. Then confidently, and gently, mention, “You are more than welcome to leave your purse on the table next to my keys and wallet.”
This is a suggestion to her to make her own decision, but mentioning that it will be next to your stuff is ABSOLUTELY KEY. This means that your stuff is there too and that it is safe area. She has already taken off her shoes for you, taken off her jacket for you; it would be difficult to say no to where she should put the rest of her stuff. She’s following your lead.
If she leaves her purse, you are golden! She is barefoot, without a jacket, without distractions of her phone or purse and all of her attention will be enjoying your company. If she doesn’t, don’t worry she’s still warming up to trusting you and some people have a harder time than others letting go of their purse. It takes about 3–4 times to visit a guy’s place to feel totally comfortable with leaving my things thrown across his place without applying any of these ideas.
However, I feel twice as welcome and a hundred times classier and respected when a man thinks about me and my needs in his home even before I have stepped five feet into his place. You’ve set the precedent in how you are going to treat her and even more, you’re growing her trust with you. The more she trusts you, the more she will keep coming back. The more organized you are, the more organized she is, and the easier everything else goes in the morning.
If you don’t have a coat closet or room for a coat hanger:
Find a place in your studio / living room where you can have one. It will not only be useful for you but for any guest. If you can’t spare the space, find a corner or space where a purse can be without being directly in the line of sight, like next to the couch, but never in front of the couch on the coffee table. If she’s wandering around looking for a place to put her stuff, simply say “You can leave your stuff next to the couch.” Boom. Done.
Ending a date
If you’re so lazy that you don’t want to walk her out / it’s too early in the am, don’t forget to help her out with the things you helped take off of her. Help her with her jacket. Compliment her and thank her for coming. End with a kiss. Simple and genuine. She’ll leave with butterflies in her stomach, itching to come back.
Here are some things that can add Character to your Entry Way:
- Photos: Nailed to the wall or have one to two on a console table
- A mirror above the console table — you always need a final look before running out the door
- A lamp if you don’t have over head lighting
- Art: Instead of a mirror, add anything that is a big statement to something you love or a place your visited
- A plant: plants, in my opinion are needed in every room, but if an entry way feels empty, a plant will add liveliness.
What not to do in your entry way
- Don’t have an obstructed path in front of your door way on either side. Don’t block the front door from opening all the way.
- Don’t forget to sweep, vacuum or dust, it gets dirty quickly!
- Keep less than 4 sets of shoes by the front door, don’t keep your entire shoe collection; Gym shoes, Work shoes, moccasins.
- Keep anything that is valuable or extremely precious away from the door. A clumsy girl knocking over grandma’s vase is not exactly the most ideal way to end or start a date.
I wish you the best of luck! Feel free to check out my services here or comment below with questions.
Originally published at karisacrest.com on February 19, 2016.