3 Things Holding You Back From Doing Your Best Work
Self-doubt has a tendency to lie to you and in making you believe it as truth. It creates a series of mental roadblocks that can deter you or sometimes completely stop you in your tracks. The fear of getting what you really want will show you every reason not to go after it.
I’ve been living it for the past few weeks — well months, as I journey to my 40th birthday. Turning 40 came with a new set of fears, questions and revelations as well. Some days I find myself paralyzed with two of my most common diseases: FONDE & FONBE.
But, perhaps that fear is actually a barometer of how much you want to succeed.
An indication of how bad you want to accomplish your vision instead of a deterrent to make it happen.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve begun to slowly shed the paralysis of self-doubt and over thinking that kept me stuck for too long. I used the fear to fuel my success.
Last year, I decided that I had enough and made the decision to begin betting on myself. As some of you may know, I took a huge leap and quit my job at a major Canadian bank. An industry that I had decades of experience in and had climbed the ranks to success. I had many great achievements throughout my career but I never truly felt satisfied and accomplished enough. 2016 was the year I decided to change this and jumped feet first into my furthering my dreams. I decided to bet 100% on me.
I was tired of tip toeing around my potential and as much as some days I still struggle with FONBE & FONBE — I have a bigger purpose that keeps pulling me up & out inspiring & motivating me to dream bigger & bolder. (My current dreams scare me ya’ll because I do not have the money in the bank for it but I am pushing ahead anyways!)
Now almost a year later, February 23rd is almost here — (my birthday — the big, grand 40th!) and for the past month I have been reflecting more than usual. A lot has been centered around my purpose — my why I am here. And the most important questions — am I adding value? Am I serving as I was designed to? Am I being the leader God designed me to be?
Here’s what I know for sure: I was created with love, purposeful intention and grace. And so were you.
Living a purpose driven life — can be extremely easy but can be difficult at times.
Doing the work isn’t easy but the rewards are plenty!
Below are the 5 things that I have identified that can hold us back from living a purpose driven life. I have worked intentionally on these things and so can you.
1. Old Mindsets & Beliefs — Nothing matters more than what we believe about ourselves. We unconsciously carry shame tapes, not good enough tapes with us to work, to love, to life and we allow them to speak on our behalf. The truth is what you think you can do or be will become your reality. Starting today focus more on how ready you are vs how much you’re not.
2. Procrastination — I recently listened to a Tedx Talk by Brian Rose, who noted that “research is a form of procrastination.” Yikes! If you are like me, “researching” your next big idea over & over again — it’s time to stop. If you’ve been delaying on sending that email or getting things done — today is that day you take action & clear up that list. Truth is watching another show or having another meeting to listening to another podcast won’t “get” you any more ready. You are ready. You are qualified. If it is burning within you — share it.
3.Comparison — Comparison, comparison, comparison — we women do this enough. Truth be told, social media also made comparison worse. From Instagram to Facebook to Pinterest — we are constantly bombarded with “picture perfect” lives which are usually not real. Comparison is a terrible habit that robs you from fully appreciating what’s great in your life, what you have accomplished, what’s great about you and can leave you feeling emotionally drained. Focus on what matters the most by looking to others for inspiration instead. And remember comparison is an opportunity to be kind to yourself.
4. Judgment: The never-ending tape of judging ourselves is hurting us more than we know. Judgment sets us up for failure zapping our energy driving us into the “never good enough” zone. A more constructive way to look at things — is with the Get Better Mindset. According to Dr Heidi Grant Halvorson (social psychologist who studies the science of motivation and communication) the Get Better Mindset is :”when you look at everything as an opportunity to learn and develop — as a chance to seek growth and improvement.”
5. Making excuses for others: Yes that person did drop the ball, yes they did disrespect you and yes he/she did cross the line. Learning to accept people for who they are gives you the freedom to release people from who you think they should be. This also gives you the freedom to decide who should be in your inner circle and who shouldn’t. Repeat after me: I will accept and appreciate people for who they are and where they are. Part of that acceptance also means letting people go. When someone has served their purpose In your life — it is your duty to release them for their next level of greatness.
Old mindsets & beliefs, procrastination & judgement rob us of the opportunity to be more of who we are supposed to be. It robs us of our ability to do great work to walk in our true purpose, to gain clarity on why we are here and most importantly and what we are meant to do and with whom.
I know that the Karlyn entering this new age is stronger, wiser and better than she was yesterday
Perhaps you are celebrating a birthday as well or are just grateful for the year ahead, regardless of where you are today just know that you are worthy of taking the leap into your greatest achievements yet. With intention and a clear plan, you can have it all and more.