Amrita Pai
Jul 22, 2017 · 2 min read

Based on a true story- Aircraft etiquette *sarcasm all the way

As you enter the aircraft you will witness a clean and well kept metal tube which will fly you to your respective destination. There would be presentable and good looking women and men (sometimes) who will be at your service. As a part of their work they provide an instruction to help yourself during the flight in case of emergency. But do not bother to listen to them. Here is an instruction that some of them have shown me on “How to misbehave in the plane” on my recent flights.

  1. Become a pervert and go on harassing the flight attendants as they are not cows to be respected.FYI -Clicking their photos without their knowledge is not their in the manual instruction to you. You might want to revisit it next time.
  2. We all have enough noises in our heads and to add on to that you may blare your speakers and keep the ear phones safely in your pocket or throw it out of the plane.
  3. If that doesn’t help,sing all by yourself . The judges of Indian idol might be in the business class to select you for the next season.
  4. Litter the plane as you were paying swachch Bharat tax anyways before the GST.
  5. Use the latrine only when they ask you not to.
  6. If you do not get a window seat never excuse the co traveller and ask them a favour to click an Ariel view for you instead pounce on them like its a WWE champion trophy game.
  7. Even before the plane lands rush towards the door. Wouldn’t have been easier that the staff threw you in the air you can float and reach your destination.
  8. Use your mobile phones even if they ask you not to. What if you want post an Instagram picture of your stupidity!
    Amrita Pai

    Written by

    A brown girl with a dream in the head and passion in the feet