How to Deal with Anxiety over Intimate Fears?

Man’s Confessions over his Deepest Secrets.

By Karolina Tatarenkova

Hello Karolina,
Thank you for your inspirational and honest opinions. I am a 30 year-old male, successful and confident in all areas of my life…but when in the bedroom I get a bit anxious on certain acts.
For instance, when getting a blowjob, I have no anxiety; but when it comes to sex, I start thinking “am I big enough? and is the girl truly enjoying what she’s going?, etc…” In the end, I either cum t0o fast or lose my erection. What’s going on? How to deal with anxiety?

Thank you for your question. I want to acknowledge the courage and honestly it took to share your fears and frustrations with me.

I hear your concern and it’s one of the most common among men. You aren’t the only one in this boat. But you’re one of the few who choose to find answers and transform their lives instead of settling for much less than they deserve. Congratulations on this!

The beauty of your life is that you have the freedom to choose what to focus on and what meaning to give to all the events happening for you.

Choose NOW: Are you making a living? or Are you designing your own life?

You have a choice here. You can either allow negative thoughts during your sexual experience control your sexuality, and possibly never get the fulfillment you deserve; or accept and love yourself for what and who you are. It’s time to break the cage and let your true potential free.

This decision is the key.

Because it’s impossible to give pleasure without accepting it first. It’s impossible to ask your partner to let go of and enjoy the waves of pleasure, without you letting go first.

This shift will help you reduce the tendency to focus too much on your fears, the things that might go wrong, or the thing that won’t go wrong, yet they still preoccupy your mind.

Focus instead on pleasure, passion, breathing, enthusiasm and sensation.

If you need more exploration in this area, I offer coaching sessions where we can dive deeper into the negative patterns that have been preventing your from taking charge of your sex life.

Try this for FUN — Because SEX IS FUN.

Try a pretense game. I ‘m sure that you don’t have those fears about your penis size and erection all the time. Next time when you and your lover decide to set off for an adventurous sex play, start having those “destructive thoughts” in your head for about 5–10 min. Then, you can stop the pretense game, and continue with whenever is rolling.


Here are some facts that might also help you find a peace of mind and let your fears and anxiety go to bed.

Need More Scientific Facts?

Here are some key points about the average penis size.

  • While 85% of women were satisfied with the size and proportion of their partner’s penis in a study, men were less sure of themselves.
  • 45% of men in the study believed they had a small penis.
  • Across studies it has been concluded that flaccid lengths range around 7 to 10 centimeters (2.8–3.9 inches).
  • Flaccid circumferences range around 9 to 10 centimeters (3.5 to 3.9 inches).
  • Erect lengths range around 12 to 16 centimeters (4.7 to 6.3 inches).
  • Erect circumference (only one previous study) was around 12 centimeters (4.7 inches).

I’m sure you’ll make the right choice and start discovering the art of your sexuality.

Ask me questions and I’ll answer them.

Live with love and passion,

Karolina Tatarenkova

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