3 Things You Can Do to Improve Your Relationship

Connection and intimacy are at the heart of all healthy and happy relationships. As an individual and couples therapist, I’d like to offer 3 tips to improve your relationship and bring you closer together:

1. Show appreciation

Relationships thrive when there is appreciation and fondness for each other. Every day, make it a practice to show gratitude and appreciation to your partner. It doesn’t have to be for something big. It could be anything from thanking your partner for making the bed, for picking the kids up, or for giving you a hug after work. People like feeling appreciated, valued and needed. As well, if you’re struggling in your relationship, incorporating appreciations into your daily routine can help shift your focus from the negatives towards the positives- bringing you closer together.

2. Check-in with each other

Check-ins are a great way to stay on top of what’s happening in your partner’s life, to offer and ask for support, and to problem solve any issues in the relationship. As much as you can (whether it’s once a day or once a week), check-in with each other.

Some questions you may want to ask:

- How are you?

- What do you have planned for today/this week?

- Is there anything you’re stressed about?

- Is there anything you need from me?

- Is there anything we need to talk about?

Check-ins are also a great opportunity to offer your appreciations to each other.

3. Set time aside for the relationship

It’s important to protect time for the two of you to be able to connect with each other without interruptions. We live in a world where there is never enough time for anything, and it’s becoming more and more common for couples to go for longer periods of time without talking, checking in, having uninterrupted time together, being physically intimate, or being without distraction (from work, kids, etc.). At the beginning of each week, set aside time that’s just for the two of you- even if it’s just a half hour.

- Kasey Lafferty, MSc, RP, RMFT
Registered Psychotherapist & Registered Marriage and Family Therapist