How Can You Promote Feminism Without Making Yourself A Feminist?

I’ve learnt this way!

6 min readJul 5, 2018

I had been waiting to vent out on this for a long time but was just not getting the right gut feeling. It seems today is the right day!

I’m a female by *gender*. But don’t forget I’m a human *too*, just like you.

And I please, urge, request you not to promote feminism.

Wondering, why? Because to me and to a lot more people around you, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I raise my voice when I see something wrong happening with the women around the world. And I get to know about the happenings through the media. I see some rape cases, and I start advocating my opinions.

Few of us start posting on social media and instagram and few of us hold play cards with quotes written over this. And, we think being an influencer, this message will reach out to the culprits, wrong! Absolutely wrong!

Though it does make us look good. It does make us look vocal. It does make us look strong. It does make us feel noticed if our voice is heard.

But it doesn’t help me, and doesn’t help you.

It doesn’t change things.

It doesn’t stop rape cases.

It doesn’t stop sexual abuses.

It doesn’t bring equal rights to the women.

Now let’s see what does wikipedia say about #feminism:

Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes. This includes seeking to establish educational and professional opportunities for women that are equal to those for men.

Hold on!

For me, feminism is not a political movement. By participating in a political movement, I won’t ensure gender quality.

For me, feminism is just not only an ideology. It’s gender equality.

For me, feminism is not a social movement. I don’t see being vocal and bringing change in 100 lives that can ensure gender equality.

For me and for many of you

Feminism is “Gender Equality”. Period. Nothing more, nothing less.

We can’t promote gender equality through women biased reservations.

We can’t promote gender equality by asking men to stand up and give seats to women because they are “women” and they are “men”.

We can’t promote gender equality by listening to a sexual harassment case and raising your voices without knowing the stories of both the sides.

We can’t promote gender equality by asking women “if they are working still after marriage?”, or asking women “how do you manage home and work?” Dude, do we ever ask such questions to men?

Introspect! Lets introspect our words whenever we say something that resonates with gender specific roles.

So if you or I don’t promote feminism, what shall we do?

Promote “Gender Equality”. Correct our upbringing! If each one of us can correct our upbringing, our next generation’s upbringing, our neighbours’ and friends’ upbringing, we will indirectly be promoting feminism.

We will not need to take part in political or social movements.

Just keep correcting wrong things around us. And, keep promoting right things around us.

Just around us within our home and our work will be noticed. We will bring the change.

How exactly shall we promote feminism without being a feminist?

By not asking men to stand up in the buses/ trains and giving women the seats. They don’t deserve a seat because of their gender, they deserve a seat because they are paying for it.
By not asking for women based reservations anywhere. You deserve a designation because you have the right skillset, and not the right gender.
By not taking up home chores responsibility totally on your own shoulders. You don’t have to do the dishes just because you are a woman. You don’t have to serve food in plates to your family just because you are a woman. It should always be your choice and not imposed on you by yourself or anybody else. Don’t just pre-assume that kitchen and home chores are your plate things.
By asking son of the family to help in the kitchen when his sister/ his wife is helping as well.
By not maintaining/ accepting any gender specific roles inside home. This is under your control. You can definitely change it. Change in one home can bring change in 100 others.
By not accepting any gender specific roles at work. Sometimes you may find yourself among a group of 10 men colleagues while celebrating a birthday party. You don’t have to bring the knives, and decorate the cake. No it’s not your thing just because you are a female. Say “NO” right there, if you are asked to do so.
By letting people realize that there is no gender specific roles. By saying “NO” whenever you encounter any such request.
By promoting women around you.

Let your mom sit on the dining table and eat together, she doesn’t have to stand serving you.
Let your wife watch some series while you take care of the child.
Let your sister find a career of her choice and you be the wings behind her.
Let your daughter roam around in the night with her friends and you be aware of her whereabouts just in case she needs you.
Let your daughter-in-law wear anything whatever she wants, work wherever she wants, live the life however she wants.
Ask your female colleague to stay till the work is required and not to go back or entertain any excuses just because she is a female.
While hiring, consider men only because of their skill sets and not because they won’t be pregnant and take long leaves.
While deciding the paychecks, consider the output and not which gender is behind that output. You can’t pay less because she is a woman, and pay more because he is a man. It’s UNFAIR.
By not asking girls to get married because they have reached a certain age. Instead ask them to dream and work hard to buy their home, cars and build their own assets.

Just look around you.

Discover how little introspection can help each day to advocate gender equality.

Let the rights and the opportunities be same to both, but let the choices be their own.

Each individual can practice equality at home.

If we inculcate in our upbringing, we will bring the change in our family mindset first. We will pass this to people around us. We will even promote this to our next generation. People learn more when they see.

If we don’t see gender based roles around us, we won’t even have the mindset and the audacity to ask favor because we are the women, or the men.

Promote the gender equality.

Remember each man has a home, each woman has a home. That’s where anyone learns the things first.

Each home can bring the change.

Each parent can bring the change.

Each upbringing can bring the change.

Let there be choices and not impositions.

Note: I’m not an expert. I’m still learning how best I can contribute in maintaining the gender equality. I’ve started promoting gender equality right in my own home, at my workplace. That’s how I believe if each one of us can do the the least, things will certainly change for the better good.

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