“Paid For” Porn

is the title of newest video I have edited to be released on MakeLoveNotPorn (MLNP), a video-sharing platform that is geared toward socializing sex and promoting positive sexual values and behaviours through the sharing of #realworldsex videos. “Paid For” Porn has the feel of a low budget art house docu-porn film, and it very much is a depiction of real world sex. It’s both an authentic portrayal of the kind of sex I personally have, and it’s meant to raise questions about porn vs sex, how we perform sex, who pays for it, and how the internet is changing our sexuality.

Still Image from the Video

The video came out of a session with my boyfriend and my pet. My boyfriend is a 25 year old male I met on Tinder while my pet is a 47 year old male I met on an adult webcam site. Both men are educated, well-adjusted, and European; they are both professionals in their field (holding Dr. designation on their passports). My pet sleeps with men primarily, but is emotionally and sexually attracted to both genders. My boyfriend sleeps with women primarily, but can be emotionally attracted to men. At the time of filming my relationship with the boyfriend was quite new, I had only met him 2.5 weeks prior, but my pet I had known for over a year. The session was meant to be a sensual domination and goddess worship while my pet was in the states watching us through a webcam, and we were in Europe playing with each other.

My pet paid for me to do the session which is one of the reasons I call it “Paid For” Porn. The other, is to ask the question, who is paying for your porn? How are they paying for it? Is it only financial, or are there other things being exchanged? What is the price we pay to watch this kind of content? Which brings me to all of my other questions. What are we teaching people about performing sex? And is performance only in porn, or do we do it for others as well? What role do we take on in our own sexuality? Are we active or passive? Are we dominant or submissive? Is it our own choice? Does it turn us on to give away power? Is sex about power? Is it about pleasure? Is it about connection? How does watching videos on the internet affect our sexuality? Do we express sexuality differently when we’re limited to a small selection of sexual expression?

While I do have so many thoughts surrounding these topics, and I would love to answer all of these questions, for now I’m just going to put it out to the world. The video moves at a particularly slow pace, even though it has been edited, and it’s mainly because I personally enjoy being in the moment, and don’t think that everything has to move at action speed, but it also gives space for the viewer to think and to enjoy, depending on which organ they’re watching the video with ;).

For the purpose of putting this video on MLNP I had to remove the audio track since we had copyrighted music playing in the background, so there’s some context that’s missing, particularly the moments where I’m verbally dominating my pet, vocally expressing my arousal and the exchanges I am having with the boyfriend, but it also means you won’t have to deal with muffled voices and the sound of the camera on auto-focus. I will upload it for consumption to anyone that is interested in the behind the scenes audio and the link can be found with the video on MLNP (when it is approved).