All You Need To Know About Masculin and Feminine Energy
This Shift in consciousness is deep. It is fundamental and it is happening from the inside out. It is changing how you think, how you perceive and what you believe. It will alter your perception of the world around you and, more importantly, it will change your relationship to absolutely everything that you know. It is very exciting. It is very expansive.
One of the things that I am aware of is that in the beginning the Creator said, “I wish to know myself to the farthest edge of the farthest edge so that I can understand myself.” In real terms the Creator was saying, “I wish to know myself in relationship to and with everything that is around me.” This is about relationship, your relationship to everything around you and how you perceive it from within you.
In the third dimension masculine energy and feminine energy are very much out of balance. Have you ever played a game where you did not know the rules of the game and yet you kept playing? Like the stock market, for example. How did you do? Most in the third dimension do not know the rules and they don’t know how to succeed or exit the game. Becoming aware of and understanding the rules and the structures of the third and fourth dimensions is a means to step out of the third dimension and choose to live in the higher third and fourth dimensions. Knowing the rules to the games we are playing is a really big deal. Most don’t even explore the rules, because they are too busy moving from past to future and they don’t spend a moment of conscious time in the present.
Relationship is the biggest game on the planet and most of us don’t know the rules. We therefore don’t know how to play successfully and with ease. You are in relationship to everything that surrounds you. How you perceive is very fundamental and affects your experience of your surroundings and of other people. Many of us understand relationship in a certain way because those outside of us have said, “Here are the rules; this is what you should do; this is how you should move through life. This is right/wrong; this is truth and this is not truth. We hang out with these people here, but we don’t talk to those people over there.” In other words, your relationship-to has been conditioned from childhood. The third dimension is conditional. In the third dimension, there is no such thing as “unconditional.” Unconditionality begins in present time, in the fourth dimension. Yes, we live in both the third and fourth dimensions simultaneously. And it is our conscious, or unconscious, choice to live in one or the other at any and every moment.
One of the most fundamental aspects, or “rules” of the relationship game is to understand masculine and feminine energy. I’m not talking about bodies, men and women, husband and wife, parent and child, or lovers. I refer to your nature and expression of personal masculine and feminine creative energy. Without understanding masculine and feminine energy, we can become very much out of balance.
Have you ever noticed that the masculine and feminine don’t quite communicate on the same wavelength? The masculine and feminine somehow seem to misconnect in this third dimensional reality. There is a very good reason for this. Let me illustrate the difference between masculine and feminine as simply as possible. I am going to use the concept of geometry. Don’t get scared by the word geometry. In a simple way, masculine energy is made up of straight lines and angles. Feminine energy is made up of curves and swirls. There are no straight lines and angles in feminine energy and there are no curves and swirls in masculine energy. Feminine energy is also very energized and fast. Masculine energy is slow and dull. If I would be simple, masculine energy holds about 40 points of energy and feminine energy holds about 140 points of energy. Feminine energy is very expansive, very creative, and very fluid. Feminine energy can do 25 things at one time while it swirls and curves. Masculine energy says ‘straight line’⎯ go down a straight line. Go from point A to point B to point C and back to point A. Both types of creative energy are absolutely valuable to have at your access for balanced creations.
However, masculine energy without feminine energy is not whole; it does not feel valued; it is not nurtured or appreciated. It feels incomplete. I am not talking about the men, and yet, yes, I am talking about the men. I am not talking about women, and I am talking about women as well. More importantly, I am talking about your personal masculine and feminine balance. Female energy without masculine energy is not whole; it feels unsupported; it is not focused; it is scattered and unstable; it is without purpose, and as a result it has no sense of success.
In the third dimension, when masculine energy is out of balance it may show up in several ways. Now, make what I am about to say very personal. See if you can apply it to your own creative energy. Please hear the words and also read between the lines. When the masculine energy feels as if it is not good enough, when it is in fear, when it has been told it will never succeed, it is not worth anything, and it has no value, it is off balance. To compensate, the masculine energy may demonstrate a false strength. It kind of puffs itself up and says, “I have these great ideas and these big dreams; I want to lead and create this. I know what I’m doing. Follow me.” That is all very real. And when a female who also is in fear and weak, is timid or withdrawn, finds this puffed up male it is a perfect match. In fact, the Law of Attraction gives each of them exactly what they are asking for. As it plays out, however, it will look like this.
If you would in your mind draw a straight line and then make an angled line moving off of that first line. (See the diagram at right.) The masculine energy leads; “Come with me. I know. I have this great dream. I am going to build this wonderful house for you in Toronto, Canada.” And the feminine energy says, “Oh, this is so wonderful. I also want a big house in Toronto.” The masculine and feminine start out together at the first point of the line and the masculine goes forth and the feminine, because feminine has curves and swirls, begins to create. She selects new paint, new drapes, and designs the landscaping. She is thrilled and satisfied that she will get to create her nest.
The masculine continues forward and then his habits of fear and self-doubt pop up. The masculine hesitates and becomes afraid of failing. “I don’t know what to do. Because I am told that I am hopeless. I am not going to succeed. I am not worth anything,” and the masculine doubts his ability and stops moving forward on building the big house. So the masculine has built 80% of the new home. He has traveled 80% down that blue line then says, “No, I think we should move to a tropical climate and it will be much nicer and we can have a house on the beach in Hawaii. I know what is best. Follow me to Hawaii.”
The feminine energy is out there swirling around in Toronto and must now stop creating. She is now incomplete. She isn’t able to complete her plans. The feminine energy says, “Oh, well, okay, a tropical beach would be nice. I would love a beach house in Hawaii. I love you and trust you.” And they move, but she is incomplete. He is also incomplete, but he begins to build the house in Hawaii. Again the feminine swirls and it curves and begins to have fun creating in Hawaii. She buys the bamboo flooring and plants the hibiscus flowers.
Again, 80% into the process, the off-balance “strong” masculine says: “Well, I think I need to change my job, which means we have to move to London. Come with me to London and we can have the beach house some other day.” Once again the female energy is incomplete. The masculine energy drives the game and the feminine energy begins to get frustrated and angry, and maybe even resentful. The feminine creativity is being dampened because she was very excited about the beach house. She was getting very creative because that is what feminine energy does. And so it continues and continues.
Feminine-Strong — Masculine-Weak
If you reverse the roles that we discussed last month and the feminine energy is very strong and the masculine energy is weaker it is as if the feminine energy says: “I have these grand dreams and desires. I wish to have this … I want that … I would like to have these others over here.” But sometimes beneath this apparent strength and determination, there is “I cannot have” “I don’t deserve” “I can’t receive”. Feminine creative energy without the balance and structure of masculine energy is very scattered; it is very undependable. It is as if you pour water onto the surface of the table, it spreads everywhere; it is not contained, focused or directed. There is no structure (cup) in place to hold the feminine creative power.
When this off-balance feminine asks of the masculine, “Oh, I want you to build me a house” the masculine says, “I’d love to build you a house. I am a carpenter, I can build you a house. I love you.” And he goes off in his excitement and gets the wood, stone and electrical wiring and begins to build a beautiful house. This is the creativity of straight lines and angles we talked about last month.
In the meantime, the feminine energy has continued creating. After asking for a house, she went off to yoga class, tea with friends, shopping at Macys and bought the ingredients for a gourmet dinner. Curves and swirls of creativity. When she finally brings her attention back home, she asks the masculine, “Hello — What are you doing?”
“When did I say that?” she replies. “Really what I want is to move to the beach and have a house there.”
“Okay, I can build you a house at the beach.”
“Oh, that would be so wonderful,” the feminine energy, says. And off they go and the story repeats itself. With this ungrounded, scattered pattern, the masculine energy feels invalidated, unappreciated, unheard. This scattered feminine energy is swirling all around in an uncontained manner and the masculine energy follows her, or tries to. When she changes her mind again and again, the masculine also changes his direction for her, trying to build a house, a structure within which she can be happy and create. However, with this pattern, both the feminine and masculine creative energy is incomplete and over time, there is frustration. Do you know someone like this (you)? This person is ungrounded, doesn’t complete the many projects they have begun while they busily come up with even more ideas. They may also have saved all the materials and supplies they collected for each of these projects — for years, promising to get to them someday.
Feminine-Weak — Masculine-Weak
There is also the pattern of weak feminine energy together with weak masculine creative energy. In this case, neither are creating easily and neither receive or fulfil their desires. Both are terrified. Weak energy does not create; it gets very frustrated and it has no permission to speak up, to set direction, to take charge. Sometimes in this case, neither the masculine, nor feminine can define or ask for their desires. The first step of creation is not even taken. The masculine energy doesn’t build the structure for the feminine to create within and the feminine doesn’t even define what she wants him to build. You may recognize this creation-pattern in those around you. Decisions never seem to get made and they change their minds frequently. There is no forward movement. Inertia can occur. Both are wanting the other to make the decision of what movie to go to and soon it is too late. All the good movies have already come and gone. As a personal exploration, you might become aware of this dynamic demonstrated in the lives of others around you and ultimately, in your own creative process. Do you know someone who exhibits inertia and is not creating fully in a way you know they have the potential too? Perhaps they don’t take risks and use vocabulary that is self-defeating?
Feminine-Strong — Masculine-Strong
The flip-side of this is a creation-pattern of strong feminine and strong masculine. Again, both are in fear and, internally, in a great deal of confusion and insecurity. There will be lots of competition, pushing and shoving, incompletion and turmoil. Both creative powers here can be very uncompromising and stubborn. Consequently, both dig in their heels and nothing gets created. You may know people who do this in their creative space. They may boast and brag and present themselves as confident and accomplished, but in actuality, have achieved very little in their lives. This person may “know it all” and argue with every suggestion others make.
How Did We Get So Out of Whack?
When the masculine creative energy inside of you is too weak or strong and the feminine inside of you is too weak or strong, we call this the third dimensional game of “I’m not okay.” That is where most of us have learned to be and live our lives. How did we get here, in this off balance state? Here is an example: There is a little girl or little boy who is very talented, very skilled and very knowledgeable. She is very excited about who she is and what she wants to do. She is very confident, into herself and what is possible. She simply says, “I can!!” This little child sets out on her path and creates wonderful drawings and great art. She sings all the time and passionately builds amazing things. At perhaps three years old she is extremely successful in her world and one day says to her favorite grown-up, “Look at my elephant” because it is a beautiful elephant and she is very pleased with her creation. The grown-up says, “Don’t you know elephants aren’t orange? And besides, this is a scribbly mess. You should color inside the lines.”
This is such a shock and invalidation to her that this little child drops down and gives up her confidence and power. The “you’re not okay” belief slides right into that little slot where “I’m great and successful” used to be just a moment ago. At first the little child is confused, then she does one of two things. She may say, “Well, I’ll show you” and goes through the rest of her life working to prove she is good. She may become a Type A personality and over-achiever in order to show that long-ago grown-up that she really is of value. However there is still a little doubt “Am I okay?” that sits in her space and her beliefs about herself. She has private thoughts like, “I am not sure whether this painting that I just did is really worth ten thousand dollars” even though on the outside she presents herself as absolutely confident, determined and strong.
The other possible reaction the little child may have is, “Well, maybe that grown-up was right. Maybe I’m not that good after all.” She may never return to that powerful, talented expression that she once had. That passionate child grows up to hide, doubt her every decision and not take many risks.
Every one of us has experienced the result of this distorted creative energy. Once you understand the distinctions and power of feminine and masculine creative energy you’ll be better able to balance them and create more powerfully from that fullness. Then, when you step into a relationship, you will continue to hold the belief that you count and have value. There will be no push or shove, competition or invalidation. There will be no better or worse. There is then a balance between and within your masculine and feminine ways of creating. Once balanced, you will recognize yourself and move forward into joyfully painting those elephants any color you choose with playmates who celebrate with you.
When healthy masculine energy is in relationship with the healthy feminine, masculine creativity has the room and the opportunity to come up with new ideas and build new plans. He now has the motivation and drive to learn, grow and expand into new realms of possibility. Masculine feels validated and has the support to explore new structures he can build for the feminine to create within. Healthy masculine energy also loves balanced female energy and says, “How can I uplift, nurture, and provide for this feminine creativity? How can I assist her in creating her dreams? Together we can create new worlds”. This occurs within each of us individually as well as within an external relationship. The man builds the raised garden beds and the woman plants and tends the vegetables and herbs. I’m sure you’ve seen two (or more) people come together and do some pretty wonderful things as a team. Remember Jobs and Wozniak?
When healthy feminine creative energy is in alignment and balance with the healthy masculine, it has the structure and scaffolding necessary for creativity. It can easily and passionately design and plan, execute, and bring to fruition its dreams. It can fully focus on its studies and research; its writing and craft; the music and math that it loves so well. Balanced masculine energy provides structure, dependability and stability. It is reliable; there is a focus, strength, and a sense of protection for the feminine energy to experience itself safely and with permission. When feminine energy is safe and has permission, it is expansive and creative. The masculine creates a container or field that offers the feminine a dependable space to create and be happy. It is from this balance of give and take that a flow unfolds. It is then that the feminine can say, “I would like a house.” “When did I say that?” she replies. “Really what I want is to move to the beach and have a house there.”
And the masculine energy smiles and says: “I can build this for you. How big and what color?”
There is then a give and take, a cooperation and co-creation. The feminine says, “What you have built is wonderful. Can we build a garden also? Is it possible to add a couple of birdhouses too? What about…?” As the feminine creates further and wider, the masculine expands the structure to make plenty of room for her swirls and curves. There is balance. There is the shared thrill of creating in passion together. As an example in my life, I happily built a trellis for Roxane, and she is happily planting pole beans.
Written by Jim Self