Feathers ball | London, 1981 | photo: Dafydd Jones

Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, girl, grab a chump. Tap his head first, and if it rings solid, don’t hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him — P. G. Wodekopjes