Yeah, this is the problem. You can enter into a sexual encounter with whatever expectations you do or do not have, and there will come a point when it’s clear that none of your thoughts or wants matter – his sense of entitlement takes over. Intimacy isn’t the goal, rather conquest. There are so many men that just aren’t willing/able to feel on the same level to communicate with female partners what each party does and doesn’t want – they see it as their business to steer the encounter to their wants and get out. We are denied agency, and that’s what hurts.