I began my self-development journey in the early 2000s, with a self-help book on Neuro-Linguistic Programming and a Yahoo Group Forum on Native American spirituality. Yeah. As you do.
Across the past fifteen years, I’ve been exploring the various threads that bring together identity, reinvention, sense of progress, and growth. One of the first “tools” I used was this Law of Attraction.
I learned about it via a movie called ‘The Secret’ at the end of 2006 when I was struggling with my mental and physical health. …
It’s a normal Monday night in 2021 and the cats are each chilling on the sofa and my desk-chair, respectively. I’m tidying up the living room because I meant to do it all weekend (and didn’t). I’ve put on a new album that came out on Friday — Icon for Hire’s Amorphous — to keep me company.
Little did I know the story those songs would form in the next few hours.
“How can I separate me from the remedy?
I can’t be sure, be sure — Am I the curse or the cure?”
— Curse or Cure, Icon For…
I’ve dabbled in making spreads on plain paper and slotting them into my disc planner, but it’s never quite the same as having one place with a dot grid, and being able to actually use all of the paper (disc-bound involves cutting away some page sections to attach them to the planner.)
I’ve also been watching bullet journal spread video channels for YEARS because they are pretty, and as someone who likes to be creative but isn’t skilled (i.e. I haven’t practiced enough to be seen as good), this was another avenue for that creativity.
And now I felt I…
It was an ordinary catch-up Zoom call, as I’m sure we’re all pretty familiar with these days.
She was telling me all about her walks: 5 miles on one day, nearly 7 miles the next. And then she paused after listing all her achievements, and asked me, “how is your fitness?”
I have had 3 weeks off — leaving one job role and having my first gap before starting the next since 2012. …
I haven’t been consistent in my writing blog since Jan 2019. I haven’t been a WRITER (in my own eyes) since before then. This is clear from my weekly posts dropping down to 18 in 2019, and only 8 this year.
But I am a Reinventor by nature: I craft my life, created my identity, and follow my inner fire. And at my heart, I’m still a writer underneath it all. But I had, at least in my actions and my thoughts, given up on this piece of myself.
I have 16 novels.
To just give you the context, of…
I’ve recently begun watching Twitch streams of a game called Among Us. It’s been out for 2 years but has recently come to light and basically became a “hit” in the last few weeks online.
To summarise for the context of this article: You and a group of friends have tasks to complete, and there is a hidden impostor or two trying to kill everyone before they complete their tasks. Everyone is muted for the game, but un-mutes to discuss, interrogate, and question others when they experience something suspicious.
That’s a very basic, not-great summary but it gets the point…
A few weeks ago, I found myself lapsing into a low mood again. I use that phrase as a professional, trained to recognise the difference between a “lapse” and a “relapse.” A moment or short time of stepping back, and of falling back to square one again.
Being me, I tried to connect with my usual CBT tools, checked my caffeine levels, and made myself go outside a little more often. I have multiple degrees, years of experience, and am more self-aware than I need to be.
By the Wednesday, I had a group coaching call with my life coach…
Tonight I looked after myself.
Self-care is one of those buzzwords which has taken on a different meaning over the last few years. Some people think of it as eating chocolate and having a bubble bath.
For me, it’s putting on some meditation music, vacuuming the floor which was getting me down, and making myself eat some vegetables. But it’s doing so with compassion.
Something I see a lot in my work, and struggled with myself for years, was the idea of being broken, or failing, or of not being ‘strong enough.’
There was this sense that because I had experienced struggles, I had to ensure I didn’t revert back or get triggered 100% of the time, else I was “clearly unfixable.”
Glennon Doyle put into words something I could never express before in her book Untamed:
“Broken means: does not function as it was designed to function. A broken human is one who does not function the way humans are designed to function…
But in reality, there are 3 truths I want to share with anyone on the self-help journey.
It’s okay to fit into some boxes or not others. As long as those ‘shoulds’ are working for you and your life. Most of us never step back enough to realise how we’ve been programmed.
I’m a writer who barely drinks coffee and has…
Melding Neuroscience & self-help to teach curious lifelong learners to redefine their resilience, personal growth, and sense of control.