3 camps, 2 days:


“There was here a nazi extermination camp between July 1942 and August 1943. More than 800,000 Jews from Poland, USSR, Jougo Slavia, Czechoslovakia, Bulgaria, Austria, France, Belgium, Germany and Greece were murdered. On August 1943, the prisoners organized an armed revolt which was crashed in blood by nazi hangmen. In a penitentiary labour camp at a distance of 2 km. from here the nazis murdered an estimated number of 10,000 Poles between ‘41-’44.”

How in the fuck can we as a human race ever allow this to happen? How could people deny the fucking existence of nazis & SS? — maybe their way of coping is imaging that we could never do this, but we as a human race did this. Hitler & his pograms drilled into the head of so fucking many Germans. How should a person with strong German heritage such as myself feel about this? How should I feel that I’ve been searching for the names of my Polish ancestors who easily could have been involved? Why did this happen in America, in such a different form, but allow extermination of an unexplainable number of Native Americans? Why? And how? And if you as a human being of the same Earth I am a part of knows this history and chooses to ignore, someday I hope for you to take one day to feel. One minute to feel, one second. But so many don’t feel, they don’t know this history. They know the common words “Holocaust, mass murder, Auschwitz”. How mundane if you don’t even know what they mean, right? Wake the fuck up America, teach your people what really happened. Don’t sensor it, don’t shun radicals for their intense passion for equality & peace & for the movement.


No words

Solo walk

Panic, massive loss of composure


Wild anger



Final solution

Beautiful humans lost

Their souls remain

Feel it

Still there lies 800,000 people

So the context of being in a group personally makes it extremely difficult to feel, and this was our first opportunity to disperse. Jewish tradition, and now tradition of many is to place rocks at gravesites & memorials instead of flowers. As a meditative walk, I picked up as many rocks as I could carry knowing they’d run out quick. I placed my first one on the memorial of Janusz Korczak, the man who cares more for children then anyone. Not only his own, but all children. There is a orphanage we visited dedicated to him, but he has many memorials throughout Poland for the goodness in his heart. The second my fingers touched his memorial at Treblinka an entire rush of energy of misery struggled through my entire body. I broke down and uncontrollably could not handle it anymore. I placed the rest of the rocks in hopes to progressively calm down. Then sat in a deep meditation for a half hour or so in the woods. It only took me deeper, and darker. I wanted to be there to even slightly fathom the conditions of bearing witness to such horror. But hearing all the memoirs and personal stories and viewing all the wretched photographs will never exactly make people know. You will never know what it feels like to be forced away from family & loved ones & your entire life into a ghetto of miserable conditions, just to be sent to a death camp where blood, sweat & tears build your own grave. Then you get violently murdered and burned, and your bones crushed in a complex machine. No you will never know, and the best you can do is personally educate. And educate others-which I cannot wait to do with children and loved ones.

Processing this all takes time, and Majdanek will be processed another day because it was almost as bad, if not worse, of an experience. Lack of sleep isn’t allowing much currently. Thank you to all who is reading this, I deeply appreciate you.


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