Words for my 17 Year-Old Self

He’s going to leave you.

Actually, they all are. There’s not just one he, and she’s gonna leave too.

In one year you’ll have everything…and lose it all.

First, you’ll lose your best friend, then you’ll lose your boyfriend.

The years will go by and still to this day we’ll never know why.

You’ll never get the chance to fight for them.

Never get the chance to say:

“But I love you, don’t go!”

“I love you, what did I do wrong?”

“I love you — just stay.”

But they won’t.

So don’t stay for them. Don’t follow them to the ends of the earth. Don’t hold together what you can’t see is unraveling. They’ve already abandoned you.

Don’t chase them, chase me.

But you’ll live in constant fear of history repeating itself.

And it will.

And won’t.

There was and will be the one who disappears.

There is and was the one who walks out the front door.

Back then you stay silent and let go.

This time, you fight.

In the end, they all leave.

Except one.

She will leave you, the other won’t forsake you.

You won’t have to say, “I love you, please stay.”

She will.

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